Tagged With "Working Moms"
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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
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Parenting, Menopause & ACEs After-the-Chat Summary: Carey Sipp
Have you talked with friends, siblings or co-workers about Parenting with ACEs while going through the change? Do you have any fascinating facts to share about how your OBGYN prepared or supported you when thrown by midlife, hormonal shifts and emotional residue from traumatic stress? Me either. And it's a shame. A lot of people parent, go through menopause, and have survived a bunch of ACEs. Conversations and information shouldn't be so hard to find. But they are. T hat's the reason we...
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Parenting through the Storm Book Review
Parenting Through the Storm: Find Help, Hope, and Strength When Your Child Has Psychological Problems , is written by Ann Douglas. The author, a member of this group and network , has a warm, open and honest tone. She's a parent and gets that parents and kids are sometimes or even often scared, struggling and in crisis. She knows. She writes about the time she almost lost her daughter, thirteen at the time, to death by suicide. Her daughter was vomiting and sleeping, restlessly, all night...
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Parents Engaging Parents Sessions Spark Community Involvement in Liberty City [TheChildrensTrust.org]
Trenika Raiford never imagined herself as a group facilitator, but motivated to help her Liberty City community she decided to step up. Raiford, a single mom with three children who has lived all her life in the neighborhood, got a dose of...
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Parents: Put your own oxygen mask on first [Centerforyouthwellness.org]
We all need support, no matter who we are. As a pediatrician, CEO and a mom, I am constantly juggling priorities, schedules and child care. Some days are just plain hard and I’ve learned that the only way to get through the tough days and weeks is to practice self care. Self care is about how we can be our best selves in order to be of support to those around us. For children to lead healthier lives, they need a healthy adult who can act as an emotional buffer to...
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Permission to be actual humans during a pandemic, please
I have a single mom friend who is caring for a baby, a 16-year old, and working full-time. Her name is Heidi. This is the same friend, with an ACE score of 10, written about here a few years ago. This is what she posted on Facebook (and gave me permission to share) the day after Governor Charlie Baker announced the schools in MA will be closed, at least, until early May: The numerous and immediate comments and responses went something like this: I sighed in relief when I read Heidi's post. I...
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Perspective of an adopted Son!
There is a national challenge to understand child and adult welfare. I have spent my whole life...42 years being trained to advocate and teach healthy dynamics, and for me it was life and death because my ACE score was either going to be a crutch or a gift. My training began in my mother's womb. I started my development out being fed stress chemicals, and fear chemicals, because my mother was surrounded by toxic stress, poor choice behaviors, and a family who did not support her. She is one...
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Poem - Not Quite a Blog..
Christine "Cissy" White is probably a familiar name to most of you. If not, check out her wonderful writing which was and is totally inspiring to me. I first "met" her through the Parenting With ACEs site - wonderfully written in her own authentic voice. It was her writing that made me consider the possibility of writing in my authentic voice as well and led me to eventually post several blogs. Then, at the December MARC Convening in Philadelphia, I met Cissy in person. I shared with her...
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Precarious Work Schedules and Population Health [rwjf.org]
By Kristen Harknett and Daniel Schneider, Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, February 14, 2020 What’s the Issue? Work has become more precarious in America over the past half century as employers have transferred more of the risks and uncertainties of doing business onto workers and households. As part of this shift, many workers have experienced an erosion of job quality—reductions in the real value of their wages; a loss or cutback of fringe benefits such as retirement plans and health...
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Pueblo, CO, clinic rewrites the book on primary medical care by asking patients about their childhood adversity
In October 2015 in Pueblo, CO, the staff members of a primary care medical clinic – Southern Colorado Family Medicine at the St. Mary-Corwin Medical Center – start asking parents of newborn babies to kids five years old about the parents’ adverse childhood experiences and the resilience factors in their lives. They ask the same questions of pregnant women and their partners in the hospital’s high-risk obstetrics clinic. The results are so positive after the first year that the clinic starts...
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Puzzle Pieces
A 5000 piece puzzle that was thrown up in the air and scattered amongst the fall leaves. That is how I imagined my life looked liked 6+ years ago. I was struggling with flashbacks, body memories, brain fog, panic attacks, insomnia and dissociation. My trauma history was coming crashing in on me and impacting EVERY area of my life. I no longer could pull myself up, dusting myself off and with head down barreling though life. I had to face my past and put together the pieces of that puzzle one...
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About Module Three: Vaginal Birth
Like conception and implantation, birth requires an intention to be born, and preparation – the baby actually initiates labour, and must move into an optimal position if a relativity easy birth is to occur. The action of the actual birth stages is dynamic, and the baby is actively involved in that movement.
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ACE-Aha Moments & Parenting: Meet Aprel Phelps Downey
Aprel Phelps Downey What was your ACEs Aha moment? When did you first hear about ACEs and what impact did/does it have on you? How do ACEs impact you as a parent? How is your parenting impacted by past trauma? What’s been most helpful to you as a parent parenting with ACEs? What’s been most challenging for you as a parent parenting with ACEs? What has parenting taught you? What have you learned? How do you manage complex family relationships? What inspires/encourages and helps you? I know...
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ACE Member Discount 18th Annual Families and Fathers National Conference Limited
I am sharing a 20% discount and that U.S. OCSE as well as trauma experts are actively participating with a special series on March 1st at the 18th Annual Families & Fathers National Conference, "Never Giving Up - Breakthrough 2017", will be hosted by Fathers & Families Coalition of America from February 27 - March 3, 2017 in Los Angeles, CA. Early Bird Registration is now open with full event, two-day or one-day options for individuals to customize their training. The focus of this...
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ACE Testing During Pregnancy Is The Missing Link
Pregnancy is often welcomed with joy and hope however, many challenges and distress may still occur during a mother’s pregnancy. Any concerns simple or complex may impact the wellness of the mother, her baby and cause stress on her multiple relationships. Oftentimes, mothers have to face planned or unplanned life changing events.
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ACEs Aware Webinar: Trauma-informed practices to address stress from COVID19
How can health care providers take care of themselves, their colleagues and their patients during this COVID-19 pandemic? First and foremost is recognizing how the pandemic can stir up trauma from the past, said Dr. Alicia Lieberman, a psychologist specializing in trauma. “COVID19 is reawakening traumatic reminders in many of us and in the families we work with. And that often makes it difficult for parents to protect themselves and their children,” she noted. Lieberman, the director of the...
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Adoption: Broken Bonds (www.risemagazine.org)
Across the country, roughly 50,000 children are adopted from foster care each year. They are expected to detach from their families and start over with new ones. Their mothers and fathers, stripped of parental rights, are told to let go and move on, unsure of whether they will see their children again. Adoption can be in the best interest of many children, but experience and research show that it’s not the right option for all children. The trauma caused by separation, the tug of war between...
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Adoptive and Foster Parents – You are Doing Incredibly Hard, Good Work (www.thankfulmoms.com)
Great essay by Lisa Qualls from two parents (through adoption, fostering and birth) who created the Thankful Moms website. So, while this particular website has a lot of ads and a faith-based emphasis that won't resonate for all, it also has good resources and some stories about parenting and discuss trauma, attachment, grief, love, family and healing as well as their faith. My writing partner, Jennifer, once quipped that she wanted to write a post about how being a foster parent made her...
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An App for Mothers Who Missed Out on Tinder (www.nytimes.com)
I love when technology is used to help support people and to create real-life connections. The app described below is interesting and has helped some feel less isolating. The caution mentioned about excessive use of technology by parents is worth considering, too (though it always seems geared at mothers and not fathers). Maybe one day we'll even have a sub-category for those parenting with ACEs who are looking to give/get peer support in order to find each other? Here are a few excerpts...
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Anxious Parenting
When my daughter was younger I was anxious. I didn't have full-blown anxiety attacks, as some do. I had an almost constant anxiety motoring within me. It was mixed with dread. Sometimes, it lasted days. Other times weeks. It would come and go. It always returned. When it did, it was hard to read, concentrate or focus. It was hard to eat or sleep or work. It was hard to parent. How I felt in my body scared me and I wanted to be someone else. Anxious time moved slowly. An hour felt like a...
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Association of Reports of Childhood Abuse and All-Cause Mortality Rates in Women (www.archpsyc.jamanetwork.com)
Another study about child abuse, early death and I feel motivated and scared as a mom wtih PTSD from childhood ACEs. How about you? I don't want to die early. I feel I've paid quite enough for my childhood and don't wish to pay some more. I don't want to worry. I also want to be healthy, know my risks and figure out what i can do to promote better health. Here's some news from the "Conclusions and Relevance" portion of the JAMA Psychiatry Association of Reports of Childhood Abuse and...
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Behind That Anger is Grief: A Mother-Daughter Relationship
I remember last year on Mother’s Day, I was researching articles about complicated mother-daughter relationships and did not seem to find any that described my experience. What sparked this Google search? All the beautiful messages I saw on social media from daughters to their mothers. These messages described a relationship I did not know of. I wondered why instead of honoring my mom I was very angry at her, this time a type of anger that I could not hide, ruminate in silence as I had done...
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Belleruth Naparstek, Guided Imagery,Community Conversation, Wisdom & Resources
Belleruth Naparstek was the last featured guest in our Parenting with ACEs chat series last week. She is a psychotherapist, author, and guided imagery pioneer. She is the creator of the popular Health Journeys guided imagery audio series and author of Staying Well with Guided Imagery and Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They H eal. During the chat, Naparstek shared a bit about guided imagery and how and why it can be effective for those of us with ACEs and/or post-traumatic...
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Beyond Mom: Postpartum depression can impact a partner’s well-being, too [WashingtonPost.com]
Like any expecting couple, Brett Pipitone and his wife, Laura, knew that having a child would upend their daily routine. But no research or planning prepared them for their biggest challenge: postpartum depression. “It was an incredibly stressful situation,” Brett said. After giving birth to their daughter in 2014, Laura found herself “wanting to disappear” and completely disengaged from her surroundings. She’d call Brett at work in tears, and he’d rush home to help. He wound up taking much...
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#BreakingSilence: Having the conversation about mental illness and suicide with kids, teens (turnto23.com)
We need to help our kids and teens with mental illness and suicide. We need to ask the questions. We need to talk. “I have found that some parents feel like they’re a failure, if their child says, ‘I’m really depressed.’ ‘Oh, you don’t have anything to be depressed about. I don’t believe that they would say the same thing if a child said, ‘look mom my bone is sticking out.’ They would get them to a hospital, immediately to fix that. And we have to see mental illness the same way,” Ellen...
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Can Inuit Moms Help Me Tame My 3-Year-Old's Anger? (npr.org)
For thousands of years, the Inuit have raised children in one of the harshest places on Earth. During that time, they've developed a suite of powerful parenting tools to teach children emotional intelligence, especially when it comes to anger. At the center of these tools is a major tenet: Never shout at small children. "Yelling? There was no yelling at kids [in traditional Inuit culture]," says Martha Tikivik, 83, who was born in an igloo and has six children. In fact, there's no reason for...
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Cannitta’s Story: Surviving, Not Living (www.lsnj.org)
I just saw this video and comment on my friend Heidi's Facebook page and it made me teary. Here's the video: Here's Heidi's comment: I hope she does because she's been a mom at 16 who is poor and has an ACE score of 9 and who has had to fight to become and to feel safe. We need people like Heidi running programs and organizing support because getting it, having lived it makes one know things those who haven't don't.
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Chat Event TODAY! Menopause, Parenting & ACEs with Carey Sipp
How to Attend Chat Event on August 8th @ 10 AM PST / 1 PM EST : If You are a Member of the Parenting with ACEs Group Go to Parenting with ACEs Group on August 8th. Find Featured Chat at top. If You're Not a Member of the Parenting with ACEs Group Go to Groups, All Groups, find Parenting with ACEs Group , Join This Group. Find Featured Chat at top of page. More about the Chat: Carey Sipp is a health writer, parenting educator and trauma-informed communities advocate. She is the author of The...
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Childhood Trauma Can Mean Early Death. This California Mom Wants to Beat the Odds [KQED The CA Report]
After a very diff icult upbringing and early adulthood, Sabrina Hanes is doing everything she can to overcome the trauma she experienced and give her daughter, Aroara, the best possible life. (Anne Wernikoff/KQED) . Listen to the full 30 min special report on the CA Report by Laura Klivans and Anne Wernikoff. Such a powerful story of a powerful young woman, Sabrina Hanes, a nd a great and thorough overview of the ACE study told from the story of Sabrina. Also read the accompanying article...
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Children of Addiction Awareness Week - Bringing ACEs Into Conversations and Celebrations
Children of Addiction (COA) Awareness Week is an annual celebration near and dear to my heart for many reasons, not the least of which are my personal experiences as a child of an alcoholic and as a child with four ACEs - three of which were the result of secondhand drinking (explained below). COA Week is an annual event celebrated during the week of Valentine’s Day - this year it's February 11 - 17. It is sponsored by the National Association for Children of Addiction, NACoA.org . NACoA’s...
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Dear Struggling Mama (www.sobermommies.com)
This website aims to provide peer support and to help the mom-blame and mom-shame, particularly faced by those in recovery. They share both 12-step and non-12-step resources . If you know of others and/or resources geared specifically to fathers, please share in the comments. I want you to know that I get you; that you are not alone. I want to encourage you to give yourself the chance to get through whatever you’re going through however you need to, and know that it’s okay to lean on me. I...
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Re: Being present was the most exhausting part of parenting
Just happened to come across your honest sharing. Parenting with ACEs is tough, particularly as a single mom. I constantly struggled to be in the present while so many intrusive thoughts of the past overwhelmed me. There were times, I wished I could just close the mother door. "It wasn't intuitive or automatic. Some of it was natural but much of it was not." The above sentences really hit close to home. I do feel guilty about some of my behavior now. Though thankfully, my son has turned out...
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Re: 2 Interviews with Dr. Bruce Perry
I just love this gem I remember as a teen in order to escape from my chaotic home, I'd go to spend weekends at my friend's place. Her parents were always accepting, never asking too many questions - her mother would make me something to eat which psychologically was hugely healing, while her dad would be silently around tolerating our teen antics. We'd stay up late at night, giggling and her mom would come around admonishing us to sleep. Having their home to go to is what saved me from...
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Re: Cannitta’s Story: Surviving, Not Living (www.lsnj.org)
Thank you for sharing this. I am not going to watch just before I go to sleep. I am so blessed to have that option. To not watch this video. So many people who “live” this video are not living. Chronic trauma is just breathing enough to stay alive. Never getting a full breath. I think that is part of the reason so many people in poverty have asthma. That and mold infested apartments. So I will watch this in the morning, so I can “sleep well.” And I will say prayers that this mom, and you and...
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Re: Introducing myself: Cissy White, parent with ACEs who’s parenting with ACEs (and who’s the Parenting with ACEs group's new group manager!)
Hi Cizsy, I am a survivor of child abuse also with a ACE Score of 7. I am now 63 yrs old and dealing with pains of a sandwich generation. I have two adult children five grandsons who I want to enjoy. All are healthy and whole I have been in self healing all of my life. Yet I am still care taking my mom and mentally ill brother. I am sure us baby boomers are going to be looking for help & support. Roxy Foster
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Re: Paying Attention as the Most Exhausting Part of Parenting with ACEs
Hi Cissy, thanks for writing this, it's beautiful and so right on. My kid is now 10 but I remember all of those feelings you describe very well. It was dumb luck that I was able to find an attachment parenting mamas group when my son was 11 weeks old. That group really saved me. I couldn't conceive of self care, especially after I became a single mom when my son was 2. I neglected myself so badly after that that my back completely went out. I needed surgery that required a long recovery.
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Re: Paying Attention as the Most Exhausting Part of Parenting with ACEs
Leah: Thanks for sharing. I've never thought of an attachment parenting mamas group as such a fabulous resource! I love this list for that! When I reflect, I did get a lot of support from others doing attachment parenting and there were great list servs as well which did help. It was great for research and general support and information but less so for meals and help. Local groups are a great option. And knowing other parents feel the strain! I wonder what other programs, informal and...
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Connecting With Incarcerated Parents Is Easier With Photo Patch, an App Developed By a Teen [teenvogue.com]
When Jay'Aina Patton was three, her father, Antoine, went to prison for gun possession. It wasn’t until she was seven or eight that Jay’Aina (or “Jay Jay” as friends and family call her) really understood where her father was. She also knew just how difficult maintaining a relationship with him was. Her father was imprisoned hours away. Her mother, raising two children on her own, could only afford to take them to visit twice during his seven-year incarceration. They couldn’t make up the...
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Parenting in a Pandemic, Op-ed
As a pediatrician and mom of four, I have been following the growing area of research in pediatric mental health over the last few years, including the study of adverse childhood experiences. Given the current information overload, I wanted to share the single biggest way we can help kids through this time without causing long-term consequences. Think for a minute about a boxer’s glove. The function of the glove is to provide padding for the hand. It is a shock absorber. When a hand with a...
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The Traumatic Impact of Racism on Young People and How to Talk About It [Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg]
Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg (Keynote speaker from the recent Creating a Resilient Community Conference) shared the excerpt from his book Reaching Teens titled The Traumatic Impact of Racism on Young People and How to Talk About It. This is a valuable resource for anyone interacting with youth and we are providing the excerpt as an attachment here for you to read and share. Also, Dr. Ginsburg will be coming back to our community (virtually) and you’ll be invited to his workshop. Look out for the...
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Parents in lockdown are quietly falling apart—I’m one of them (Today's Parents)
By Lindsey Springer, June 12, 2020, Today's Parent. As we hide in our homes waiting out this virus, I’m worried about another, silent, pandemic. On any given day, I make 17 snacks, change 12 diapers, listen to 957 complaints, constantly remind everyone to wash their hands , and burst into tears at least three times. Yes, this is life with young kids. It’s what I signed up for and no, it’s not glamorous. Being a mom doesn’t come with “me” time. Showers are forever getting interrupted by...
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Association of Work Requirements With Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program Participation by Race/Ethnicity and Disability Status, 2013-2017 [jamanetwork.com]
By Erin Brantley, Drishti Pillai, and Leighton Ku, JAMA Network Open, June 26, 2020 Key Points Español 中文 (Chinese) Question What are the associations between work requirements and Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program participation for the overall target population and subpopulations? Findings In this pooled cross-sectional study of 866 000 low-income US adults, work requirements were associated with a 4.0 percentage point decrease in participation for the target population of childless...
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Unbecoming an Armadillo: Recovering from Trauma with EMDR
Unbecoming an Armadillo By: Victoria F. Burns, PhD, LSW Victoriafrances49@gmail.com Instagram: @betesandbites “When you are traumatized, you are basically in a permanent defensive mode” — Gabor Mate I’m sitting across from Meg on her charcoal grey love seat. My forearms are resting on a velvety mustard-yellow throw cushion and I’m holding crescent shaped pulsers in each hand. Meg’s my psychologist; a rare gem who specializes in chronic illness and trauma. Every two weeks, we spend an hour...
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Tea for Two, Trauma for Three
Perhaps, that is the true miracle of resilience. The option to start fresh, even while I am still in pain. To build my life upwards, though triggers keep me scurrying back to shore up and re-lay crumbling foundations.
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My mom asked me to name the top things I wish she would have done better as a parent. My answer might surprise you.
Because I work in the field of child trauma and ACEs science education and prevention here at ACEs Connection, I end up talking about the subject nonstop. I am passionate about this field and making change so I enthusiastically share what I'm reading and learning with everyone who will listen. Those who will listen are often my parents. (This blog, by the way, is a personal piece of writing and does not necessarily reflect the views nor represent ACEs Connection.) I know not everyone's...