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Parenting with PACEs. PACEs science & stories. Trauma-informed change.

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We are the We

Gail Kennedy ·
Cissy White and I were talking about the Parenting with ACEs (this group as well as the process of parenting with ACEs). We got animated, excited and went on and on and on (as we often do when we get to talking!) We decided to write a joint blog post to tell you about our conversation and ask you to weigh in on what you want. Read on our attempt at a combined post: Gail's voice - I called to ask if Cissy thought there was need for a place on the Parenting with ACEs group site for parents to...
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What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?

Christine Cissy White ·
Hi Everyone: I'm building out the resources for this group. I'd love to know what you have needed in your own parenting or in the work you have done/are doing with parents parenting with ACEs. If there are any good books, videos, handouts or anything you've heard are helpful, please share. If you have any comments or insights that you've said or heard people talking about needing, like more community or places to learn how to parent differently, etc., please share those as well. Thanks so...
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Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?

Christine Cissy White ·
Let's create a list of resources useful for parenting ourselves and children. These can be books about child development or self-help books or a work of fiction that had important wisdom. If there's a title that's helped you or someone you know, love or work with as it relates to parenting, please share. For me, my absolute favorite is this: There's Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber This book is not about parenting. It's not about how-to parent I should say but it...
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Re: Using the World Cafe Model for ACES

Barbara Machina ·
Hey Roxy, this sounds great! I'm not really familiar with the "cafe" model, but I'd love to help. What kind of questions are you looking for from us? What kinds if demographics do you have in your area, and what population are you specifically trying to target? I know everyone across all demographics suffer from ACEs, but I think your content will depend on your audience.
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Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)

Christine Cissy White ·
Melissa: Great questions. I'm going to tag a few others to chime in as well. @Karen Clemmer @Rene Howitt @Rebekah Couch @Emily Read Daniels @Louise Godbold @Dawn Daum @Joyelle Brandt have all done presentations about ACEs, as have I. I'm sure we all do them differently and have experiences and thoughts on what does/doesn't work. My opinion is that sharing from the place of WE and US and OUR is most important. We are all impacted by the ACEs we do or do not carry. If we carry lots, that's a...
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Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)

Karen Clemmer ·
Hi Melissa - I agree with Cissy! In my experience families want information , presented in a non judgmental, safe, caring way. They are often open to conversations and at the same time they (may) need additional support to understand at a visceral level that it is what happened to them - not what is wrong with them. They did the best they could at the time - whatever that looked like. Knowledge is power. Typically I might mention that lots of us in this room have higher ACE scores including...
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Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)

Rene Howitt ·
Melissa....I always start off my ACEs presentation by asking the audience to go back to their own childhood. Think about their siblings, parents, living room and home. As children we are not responsible for what may have happened to us and also had no control over those actions. I tell them "I know that you will be tempted to think about your own marriage, children and parenting but if you stay there this will feel like finger pointing. That is not the purpose of the presentation."...
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...

Matt Furlong ·
Check out my facebook pages. Year round parenting from the heart And foster adoption circle of support. I keep posting positive resources. I have developed these two groups to prevent trauma by fueling them exclusively with material I feel helps an audience thrive. Let me know if you have some tools to add. Thanks
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...

Christine Cissy White ·
Matt: Can you share a link to your Facebook page? Do you have a website as well? That types of tools do people on your page seem to like most? I'm so glad you are here! Cissy P.S. If you want to cross-post anything as a blog post here, please do.
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...

Matt Furlong ·
Parenting support page. Notice there is a physical group that can be attended. Our base curriculum is "Circle of Security" https://www.facebook.com/ParentingFromTheHeartHelena/ Foster/ Adoption support page positive resources https://www.facebook.com/Foste...ort-700924973360063/
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Re: School Council, School Improvement Plans, ACEs, Diversity & Help?

Emily Read Daniels ·
@Cissy White You're the best. I love that you are so boldly putting it out there! To begin with, you know that your question is laden with like 10,000 $1,000,000 questions. You may be new to this arena, but you're a quick study, so of course you have all the questions everyone in education has been grappling with for eternity: - How to include ALL VOICES? - How to bridge PTAs mission with the broader school community? - How to engage parents with busy lives, distance, etc? And for what...
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Re: We are the We

Jackie Hamilton ·
WOW, talk about a loaded question!! I for one as an early childhood teacher/center director, PBS community outreach teacher, parent and child tend to answer from any or all of these perspectives as the posts opportune. I think dividing the group would be a mistake as parents are probably coming to the site seeking professional ideas and answers that may help them in their given situation. A list of resources may not be as useful to the parents as are links within our professional posts. And...
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Re: Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!

Christine Cissy White ·
Akacia: Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm the Community Manager for this community and I really hope you'll share your blog posts HERE. I think your perspective is key and I appreciate how much you shared. There are over 300 hundred of us here and many of us are parents or work with parents (have ACEs, kids or people we love or work with have ACEs) and we're all learning about trauma informed EVERYTHING and how we can heal and help support and understand our kids and be there for our kids. I love...
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Re: Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?

Amy Reichardt ·
I think there are a lot of resources that can help parents who are parenting with ACEs. Two books offering a lot of very practical support are both older classics-- How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Faber & Mazlish) and Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) by Thomas Gordon Both these books contain information and practical examples that can help parents become more resourced for responding constructively in moments or situations that are likely to be...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents

Christine Cissy White ·
HI Melissa: I know it's WAY late and I apologize for not seeing your question earlier! While I don't favor screening of parents I'm all for sharing surveys with parents. I don't favor screening til the medical, insurance, and screening places doing screenings have addressed race, gender, class, disability, homophobia and basically all kinds of bias since we know those most impacted most with most risks for ACE-associated issues are poor, female, LBGTQ, of color, and struggling with emotional...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents

Christine Cissy White ·
Melissa: Thanks for the update. I think parent cafes and watching and then discussing movies is great. It's nice for someone to guide, lead and prompt with questions and make a comfy space. Once that happens, it seems parents (and everyone) is pretty eager to share. Did you feel like your event went well? It sounds like it! Cissy
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents

McKinley McPheeters ·
Hi Cissy, Yes, we were pleased with the event! We had a snow day on the original day of Part 1 and rescheduled it for the evening of Part 2, and then shifted Part 2 to the following week. We ended up having only about 1/3 of the participants who had RSVP'd, but I think that was largely due to the rescheduling that had to happen. We're looking forward to making some changes and scheduling it earlier next year to hopefully avoid the snow
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Corona, Racism, Financial Stress, Online Schooling - PARENTS are stressed and need our help!

Robbyn Peters Bennett ·
This has been a brutal year, especially on kids and their parents! Research says parents are YELLING more, SPANKING more and that the mental health of children is on the decline. Research suggests child abuse in on the rise. SO MUCH STRESS! Parents really need us right now. Help us create a community of care! We are launching the 6th annual NoSpank Challenge to help parents learn... Brain development (and what is normal!) How to parent non-violently How to talk to your children in a way that...
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