Tagged With "abusive partners"
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Juggling Act: Boston Mom Champions Community and Self-Care
Marisa Luse was accustomed to juggling multiple roles: as the mother of a three-year-old son, a parent ambassador for the Boston Children’s Museum and a board member for the Boston Association for Childbirth Education. She was used to helping youth and families access and achieve their goals: a healthy family, a school-ready child.
But when leaders of a Community Organizing for Family Issues (COFI) training asked Luse to name priorities for her own growth, she came up blank.
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Just Breathe — the kids in this video explain how to calm your brain
Filmmaker Julie Bayer Salzman describes why she and her husband made this video: The inspiration for Just Breathe first came about a little over a year ago when I overheard my then 5-year-old son talking with his friend about how...
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When kids lose a parent to addiction, tell the truth (www.pressherald.com)
Note: Losing a parent, partner or another family member is hard. When the loss is due to addiction it can be more complicated. Not only do we feel grief and loss but sometimes shame and stigma. We might be confused about if, when and how to talk to our children about the loved one they lost. Here's a good article with advice and resources. Excerpt: But the first piece of advice is always the same: Tell the truth. “We always recommend being honest with children about the cause of somebody’s...
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When Your Child Is Your PTSD Trigger
One-third of children experience childhood abuse, and yet the question is never asked: what happens when those children grow up and have families of their own?
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Why We Suck (at Self-Soothing & Self-Care): Dr. Dawn O'Malley
Without yoga and coffee, I'm kind of a jerk. These are my personal "puppy uppers and doggie downers" and prevent me from being cranky, quick to cry, and ready for conflict. Coffee and calming make life more manageable. Humans even seem tolerable. Without them I might veer into hating humans for being so needy which is not a great trait for a parent, partner or a professional. Or a self. My partner says coffee and exercise are acts of kindness, service as promote public safety. In other...
Ask the Community
Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Hi everyone! I've made a blog (not yet launched) called A Resilient Parent (aresilientparent.com). I have a few goals in mind for this blog. First i want to help parents with ACEs heal, so they can thrive themselves. I also believe that whereas the focus is so strongly on this generations kids (for good reason, of course), I feel that outside help can be most effective when the parents are healing as well. Our children look up to their parents/guardians most of all! And it's not to late for...
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New ACEs data on Kidsdata.org
On behalf of California Essentials for Childhood, I am very excited to announce the release of a new Child Adversity and Resilience data topic on Kidsdata.org! This has been a collaborative effort between the CA Essentials for Childhood Initiative's Shared Data and Outcomes Work Group and the Lucile Packard Foundation for Children’s Health. I represent ACEs Connection Network on Essentials and am the co-chair of the Shared Data & Outcomes Work Group so I couldn't be more thrilled about...
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New Resource - Pre-Father Care: Prenatal Care for Fathers
Hello! I am writing to share a wonderful new resource from the Vital Village Network’s friend and partner, Charles C. Daniels, Jr. Charles is the Founder and CEO of Fathers’ Uplift, which works to assist fathers in overcoming barriers (financial barriers, addiction barriers, oppressive barriers, emotional barriers and traumatic barriers) that prevent them from remaining engaged in their children’s lives. Charles’s book “Pre-Father Care: Prenatal Care for Fathers” is now available for...
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New Toolkit Issued to Help Providers Measure Trauma With ACES Survey [youthtoday.org]
A new toolkit is out that aims to help services providers give a survey about traumatic childhood experiences that are linked to negative effects on health and well-being. The toolkit, developed by The National Crittenton Foundation , offers recommendations about the Adverse Childhood Experiences survey, including how to talk to children and parents about the survey, track results and use the data for public education and policy advocacy. The toolkit also includes a sample protocol, case...
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Opinion: To End Intimate Partner Violence, We Must Focus on Racial Justice and Healing [calhealthreport.org]
By Marc Philpart and Jacquie Marroquin, California Health Report, November 13, 2019 Like millions of Californians, the crisis of intimate partner violence has had a profound impact on our lives. The violence our family members experienced has created a ripple effect, setting us each on a unique journey for healing—as individuals, as families and as a community. While our journeys have been distinct, they have led to a similar understanding: Ending domestic violence is possible, but only if...
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Parent Partners and a Bridge to the Business World: Wisconsin MARC Update
Joann Stephens will never forget the meeting at which a man pounded the table. Stephens, who has a high school education, a history of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and children with mental health issues, became an accidental advocate. “The systems were not working for my kid, so [I thought], What do we do to fix it?” But at meetings with policy-makers and professionals, Stephens often felt discounted. “One time, a man pounded his fist on the table and said, ‘I can’t stand it when...
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Parentification: Growing Up Too Soon
“ We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us - how we can take it, what we do with it - and that is what really counts in the end. How to take the raw stuff of life and make it a thing of worth and beauty - that is the test of living.” Joseph Fort Newton This week in the childhood trauma education series, I will tackle parentification . I discovered so much while researching this topic that explains a lot for me. Have you heard...
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Parentification: Growing Up Too Soon
“ We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us - how we can take it, what we do with it - and that is what really counts in the end. How to take the raw stuff of life and make it a thing of worth and beauty - that is the test of living.” Joseph Fort Newton This week in the childhood trauma education series, I will tackle parentification . I discovered so much while researching this topic that explains a lot for me. Have you heard...
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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
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Parenting’s Troubled History
As we learned from the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study , negative childhood experiences are often kept secret, downplayed, or repressed because of our powerful desire to put such things behind us. Unfortunately, our minds and our brains don’t work that way. Patterns can play out automatically, no matter how hard we try to be original and create our own realities. Just as it is important to know family medical history (e.g., diabetes or tuberculosis) it is equally important to know about our...
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Parenting tips on semi-truck trailers
Three in ten semi-truck trailers have no graphics on their sides. Just 53 feet of blank white space. This is because they are owned by leasing companies and owner/operators who don't have a business or product to promote. Now imagine these parenting tips and forty-four others on the sides of these trailers crisscrossing the United States!!! This is one of Advancing Parenting's goals. AP will partner with the Advertising Council and manufacturers so trailers role off the assembly line with a...
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Parenting Triggered Healing form ACEs
This month marks my tenths wedding anniversary. My ACE score is five. I have four children who are 8, 7, 5 and 1.5 years old. Raising them up with minimum impact of abuse is my greatest challenge . Part of this challenge comes from having serious financial problems as ACE study charts predicted but the toughest part is that my wive's behavior as a victim of child abuse is my weakest point to handle . whenever my wife shouts or curs or beat them,I feel like I was hit by a car. She lives in...
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Parenting with PTSD Book Cover
I can't wait to read this book. The cover is beautiful and tender. This parenting (with ACEs, with PTSD) is sacred, hard and important work. We need all the resources and support we can get. This book has more than a new cover. While the Trigger Points Anthology had honest essays from those of us parenting after abuse, this one has that plus new chapters and expanded and in-depth resources. There's lots more about ACEs, as well, and s Some of the new chapters are written by our own ACN...
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Permission to be actual humans during a pandemic, please
I have a single mom friend who is caring for a baby, a 16-year old, and working full-time. Her name is Heidi. This is the same friend, with an ACE score of 10, written about here a few years ago. This is what she posted on Facebook (and gave me permission to share) the day after Governor Charlie Baker announced the schools in MA will be closed, at least, until early May: The numerous and immediate comments and responses went something like this: I sighed in relief when I read Heidi's post. I...
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Physical abuse and punishment impact children's academic performance [sciencedaily.com]
A Penn State researcher and her collaborator found that physical abuse was associated with decreases in children's cognitive performance, while non-abusive forms of physical punishment were independently associated with reduced school engagement and increased peer isolation. Sarah Font, assistant professor of sociology and co-funded faculty member of the Child Maltreatment Solutions Network, and Jamie Cage, assistant professor in Virginia Commonwealth University's School of Social Work,...
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Positive Childhood Experiences offset ACEs: Q & A with Dr. Robert Sege about HOPE
Tufts University medical professor Dr. Robert Sege directs the Center for Community-Engaged Medicine and is nationally known for his research on effective health systems approaches that address social determinants of health. He is also the principal investigator for the HOPE framework (Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences).The HOPE framework is based on research that shows how positive childhood experiences can mitigate the effects of adverse childhood experiences. Sege and colleagues...
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Power and Partnership: A Guide to Improving Frontline Practice with Parents in the Child Welfare System (www.risemagazine.org) & the Importance of Lived Expertise
(Cissy's note: My Friday morning free-write on stuff I've been thinking about a lot of late) At least once a week, if not once a day, people ask about how to have more "authentic engagement" from parents, survivors, and community members - especially who are or have been in crisis related to ACEs. And sometimes, people share how hard it is to get or keep folks on committees who do have lived experience and care about trauma-informed change. I get these questions pretty often. But these...
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PTSD in Love (www.healwritenow.com)
I went to the fireworks the other night. I was thinking about how fireworks can be hard for veterans and how it's good people know and respect that. Relationships are my fireworks. Relationships are where it's hard for me to stay present without being sent in to sensory overload. ACEs and interpersonal violence can be so messy and complex. It's hard to find language and even when we have words there aren't always ways to prevent all triggers. Relationships offer the space and place for the...
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Re: Poor Parenting Can Be Passed From Generation to Generation: Study (www.nbcnews.com)
Krys: You ask great questions and that suggestion is great. Do you want to make it a discussion question here and in Parenting with ACEs? I think that will invite wider discussion from the community in both places. Plus,I can compile responses and add them as resources to Parenting with ACEs so we can make this info. more accessible for others. BTW: When I do talk about ACEs I ask people to think about what the score of their loved ones (parents, friends, partner, kids) as well as our own...
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Re: Thoughts to share
Thank you for these quotes, Michael. By the way, I just found your interview with Cissy from 2017. I applaud your candor and your courage in sharing your journey.
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Re: Thoughts to share
Thank you Diane. Question, where is the 2017 interview posted? Would like to see it. Take care.
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Re: Thoughts to share
Dear Michael: I appreciate the quotes. I've been a quote collector my whole life and have found comfort, strength, and the relief one gets from reading or writing truth-telling. Thank you. Did you find the piece Dianne mentioned already? Cis
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About Module Three: Vaginal Birth
Like conception and implantation, birth requires an intention to be born, and preparation – the baby actually initiates labour, and must move into an optimal position if a relativity easy birth is to occur. The action of the actual birth stages is dynamic, and the baby is actively involved in that movement.
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ACE Fact Sheets to Give Your Doctors, Patients & Beyond (free downloads)
I was first inspired to create a fact sheet summarizing the effects of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) after reading a comment in “Got Your ACE score?” A reader wished she had a form to give her doctor that documented the vast body of evidence explaining how early trauma increases risk for chronic physical and mental health conditions and much more.
I could relate.
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ACE Member Discount 18th Annual Families and Fathers National Conference Limited
I am sharing a 20% discount and that U.S. OCSE as well as trauma experts are actively participating with a special series on March 1st at the 18th Annual Families & Fathers National Conference, "Never Giving Up - Breakthrough 2017", will be hosted by Fathers & Families Coalition of America from February 27 - March 3, 2017 in Los Angeles, CA. Early Bird Registration is now open with full event, two-day or one-day options for individuals to customize their training. The focus of this...
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ACE Surveillance Study of Teachers and Administrators in Public and Private Schools in Southwest Nigeria, West Africa
Note: These findings were presented at the Child Trauma Conference in Lagos on October 25-26, 2019. Rationale: Many children today live with layers of stress both subtle and overt which in this report are collectively referred to as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). Specifically, these ACEs are physical, emotional and sexual abuse; physical and emotional neglect; household dysfunction and domestic violence as well as community violence. The children have a life marked by chaos,...
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ACE Testing During Pregnancy Is The Missing Link
Pregnancy is often welcomed with joy and hope however, many challenges and distress may still occur during a mother’s pregnancy. Any concerns simple or complex may impact the wellness of the mother, her baby and cause stress on her multiple relationships. Oftentimes, mothers have to face planned or unplanned life changing events.
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ACEs Aware Webinar: Trauma-informed practices to address stress from COVID19
How can health care providers take care of themselves, their colleagues and their patients during this COVID-19 pandemic? First and foremost is recognizing how the pandemic can stir up trauma from the past, said Dr. Alicia Lieberman, a psychologist specializing in trauma. “COVID19 is reawakening traumatic reminders in many of us and in the families we work with. And that often makes it difficult for parents to protect themselves and their children,” she noted. Lieberman, the director of the...
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ACEs Connection Parent Handouts
Great resources to accompany ACEs screening efforts, presentations, and community awareness building. Please share how you plan to use the handouts in the comments section below!
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ACEs Connection's Inclusion Tool makes sure nobody's left out
We developed ACEs Connection's Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Tool — called the Inclusion Tool, for short — to ensure that ACEs initiatives across the world focus on being inclusive when forming a steering committee, recruiting leaders, providing education about ACEs science, recruiting members, or providing resources and services within their communities. The more inclusive your ACEs initiative is, the more diverse it will be, giving your initiative a real shot at achieving equity and...
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ACEs Research Corner — February 2020
Editor's note: Dr. Harise Stein at Stanford University edits a web site — abuseresearch.info — that focuses on the health effects of abuse, and includes research articles on ACEs. Every month, she's posting the summaries of the abstracts and links to research articles that address only ACEs science. Thank you, Harise!! -- Jane Stevens] Kambeitz C, Klug MG, Greenmyer J, Popova S, Burd L. Association of adverse childhood experiences and neurodevelopmental disorders in people with fetal alcohol...
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ACEs Research Corner — July 2018
[Editor's note: Dr. Harise Stein at Stanford University edits a web site -- abuseresearch.info -- that focuses on the health effects of abuse, and includes research articles on ACEs. Every month, she's posting the summaries of the abstracts and links to research articles that address only ACEs. Thank you, Harise!! -- Jane Stevens] Tilson EC. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): An Important Element of a Comprehensive Approach to the Opioid Crisis. N C Med J. 2018 May-Jun;79(3):166-169.
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ACEs Research Corner — September 2017
[Editor's note: Dr. Harise Stein at Stanford University edits a web site -- abuseresearch.info -- that focuses on the health effects of abuse, and includes research articles on ACEs. Every month, she will post the summaries of the abstracts and links to research articles that address only ACEs. Thank you, Harise!! -- Jane Stevens] Altamimi D, Almuneef M, Albuhairan F, Saleheen H. Examining the relationship between child maltreatment and school performance in public schools in Saudi Arabia: A...
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ACEs Science and Racism
This is a collection of resources regarding structural racism and trauma. This list aims to give a broad overview and is not all-inclusive. We welcome suggestions; if you have any, please comment below! The titles below and the PDFs in attachments are in alphabetical order. BSC Full Report Trauma Resilient Informed City Baltimore: This is the full report of the work, data, lessons, and direct quotes from several teams of people from various backgrounds in the Baltimore community as they...
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Activity Calendars for Child Abuse Prevention (CAP) Month
The Children's Bureau has created activity calendars that parents, programs, and community partners can use to participate in National Child Abuse Prevention Month in April. Discover ways to plan and engage with families through events related to the protective factors into Child Abuse Prevention Month activities. Calendars are available in English and Spanish. https://www.childwelfare.gov/t opics/preventing/preventionmon th/spread-the-word/activity-calendars/ Other resources for National...
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Addressing Health Care Shortages and Needs During COVID-19 [citiesspeak.org]
By NLC Staff, National League of Cities, March 30, 2020 City leaders play an essential role in helping residents navigate to the safest and best possible health services to meet ongoing needs. They do this through: collaborating regionally, with partner organizations, state and federal officials, and local businesses; providing resources; and communicating clearly to residents, especially to vulnerable groups. Swift, efficient, and timely action from city officials can alleviate stress and...
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Adoptive and Foster Parents – You are Doing Incredibly Hard, Good Work (www.thankfulmoms.com)
Great essay by Lisa Qualls from two parents (through adoption, fostering and birth) who created the Thankful Moms website. So, while this particular website has a lot of ads and a faith-based emphasis that won't resonate for all, it also has good resources and some stories about parenting and discuss trauma, attachment, grief, love, family and healing as well as their faith. My writing partner, Jennifer, once quipped that she wanted to write a post about how being a foster parent made her...
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Adults: Let's Take Teen Relationships and Dating Violence Seriously
Adults, pull up a chair. It's time for us to talk. February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness month. In cases reviewed by the Georgia Domestic Violence Fatality Review Project , nearly fifty percent of domestic violence homicide victims began their relationships with their perpetrators between the ages of 13-24. Adults, we need to take intimate and dating relationships between young people seriously. As defined by Loveisrespect.org , teen dating violence is "a pattern of behaviors one person...
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Advice from a Parent Advocate: Communicating With Your Caseworker (risemagazine.org)
Interview with Toni Miner, Family Support Partner When the child welfare system first came into Toni Miner’s life, she felt shamed and blamed and not supported. For many years, Miner hid her problems—and that led child welfare to come back into her life. Today, as a family support partner in Jefferson County, Colorado, and a member of the Birth Parent National Network, Miner believes it’s still too hard for parents to be open about their struggles, but she also sees that families do better...
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Behind That Anger is Grief: A Mother-Daughter Relationship
I remember last year on Mother’s Day, I was researching articles about complicated mother-daughter relationships and did not seem to find any that described my experience. What sparked this Google search? All the beautiful messages I saw on social media from daughters to their mothers. These messages described a relationship I did not know of. I wondered why instead of honoring my mom I was very angry at her, this time a type of anger that I could not hide, ruminate in silence as I had done...
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Beyond Mom: Postpartum depression can impact a partner’s well-being, too [WashingtonPost.com]
Like any expecting couple, Brett Pipitone and his wife, Laura, knew that having a child would upend their daily routine. But no research or planning prepared them for their biggest challenge: postpartum depression. “It was an incredibly stressful situation,” Brett said. After giving birth to their daughter in 2014, Laura found herself “wanting to disappear” and completely disengaged from her surroundings. She’d call Brett at work in tears, and he’d rush home to help. He wound up taking much...
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Beyond the NFL: A New Plan to Treat Brain Injuries For Women Escaping Abuse [yesmagazine.org]
Kerri Walker has been in two relationships involving domestic violence. Like many survivors, she was hit repeatedly. She was diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury (TBI) and even suffered an aneurysm. “So when I say my brain is special, it’s special,” she says. Over the years, Walker, 52, has made many adjustments, including moving from a shelter in Ohio to a new life in Arizona. “We all get forgetful the older we get,” she said. “But if you’ve had an injury and if you’ve had trauma in your...
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Brain Injury Common In Domestic Violence (scienceblog.com)
Domestic violence survivors commonly suffer repeated blows to the head and strangulation, trauma that has lasting effects that should be widely recognized by advocates, health care providers, law enforcement and others who are in a position to help, according to the authors of a new study. In the first community-based study of its kind, researchers from The Ohio State University and the Ohio Domestic Violence Network found that 81 percent of women who have been abused at the hands of their...
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CA pediatrician develops, tests, gets state OK for whole-child assessment tool that includes ACEs
Over the last dozen years or so, many pediatricians, astounded by the ramifications of the science of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) on the children they care for, began integrating this science into their practices. The most common approach has been to ask parents about ACEs using a questionnaire, and to use this information to counsel parents and identify resources for the family. Different practices have been using different questionnaires: Some ask parents for their ACE scores...