Tagged With "Lunch Shaming"
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Adoption: Broken Bonds (www.risemagazine.org)
Across the country, roughly 50,000 children are adopted from foster care each year. They are expected to detach from their families and start over with new ones. Their mothers and fathers, stripped of parental rights, are told to let go and move on, unsure of whether they will see their children again. Adoption can be in the best interest of many children, but experience and research show that it’s not the right option for all children. The trauma caused by separation, the tug of war between...
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After the Chat Review & Additional Resources: Talking Tough Topics with Kids
We had our first Parenting with ACEs Group chat a few weeks ago. The full chat transcript is saved online. For those who want highlights only and follow-up from our featured guest, Beth O'Malley, please find the following: Beth O'Malley: Talking Tough Topics as Social Worker, Parent & Adoptee How Lived Experience Can Be a Professional Asset Sharing Our Questions, Issues & Experiences How to Start Having Hard Conversations How to Talk with Teens ACEs as an AHA or Conversation Starter...
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An Open Letter to Teachers
My son and my daughter, like all the children who fill the desks in your classroom, come to school every day prepared to do the best they can and they will give you the opportunity to help them. My children may struggle in ways that frustrate you or in ways that you do not understand. They perceive, process, and express information differently than most people do.
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Anxious Parenting
When my daughter was younger I was anxious. I didn't have full-blown anxiety attacks, as some do. I had an almost constant anxiety motoring within me. It was mixed with dread. Sometimes, it lasted days. Other times weeks. It would come and go. It always returned. When it did, it was hard to read, concentrate or focus. It was hard to eat or sleep or work. It was hard to parent. How I felt in my body scared me and I wanted to be someone else. Anxious time moved slowly. An hour felt like a...
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Author Hopes to Put Her Emotions Journals in the Hands of Girls in Every State
Back in the spring, I was in the middle of putting together a panel on community interventions for ACEs when the conference planning chair suggested adding Tara Shephard. We had an amazing panel that day, but Tara hit it out of the park. Her love and care for African-American girls in Arkansas and the adversities they face was apparent in every word she spoke that day. To give some background, Tara is an author, education and mental health advocate; an auditor for the American Correctional...
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ACEs Science Champions Series: Because of Andres Perez, 10,000+ Latinx parents in Northern California embrace trauma-informed parenting
Andres Perez immigrated to San Jose, Calif., from Mexico in 1990. He was 24 years old, undocumented, knew little English, lacked job skills, and had a pregnant wife to support. He hit the ground running by completing an ESL program in San Jose City College, and, while working days at any job he could find, at night he earned an associate of science degree with specialization in electronics and computers in 2002. Fortunately for thousands of Latinx parents and their children, he never worked...
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Brené Brown Talks About the Importance of the Kitchen Table + Not Being a Perfect Parent (www.brit.co)
Brené Brown was interviewed by Lesley Chen and spoke most about her new e-course on imperfect parenting. Here's an excerpt. B+C: What does it mean to be imperfect and wholehearted? How do the two go together? BB: We are all human and imperfect. As much as we would like it to seem like we have it all together, we don’t, especially when it comes to parenting! The good news is that we are all in this together and parenting perfection is not the goal. In fact, the best gifts — the best teaching...
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California Plans to End 'Lunch Shaming' That Guarantees Meals for All Students [usatoday.com]
By Joshua Bote, USA Today, October 14, 2019 A bill signed Saturday by California Gov. Gavin Newsom plans to cut the recent trend in schools of "lunch shaming." SB 265, which was originally introduced by California state Sen. Robert Hertzberg, will require that all public school students have a "state reimbursable" meal provided by the school "even if their parent or guardian has unpaid meal fees." It amends the Child Hunger Prevention and Fair Treatment Act of 2017, which previously stated...
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Chat Live with Sebern Fisher on ACEs Connection
"Evidence with neurofeedback suggests that trauma-informed treatment should also be brain-informed treatment- and not just to know that the brain is an issue, but to work with it directly.” Sebern Fisher, Neuofeedback in the Treatment of Developmental Trauma: Calming the Fear-Driven Brain. Neurofeedback for ACEs: Chat with Sebern Fisher Oct. 10th (10 AM PST / 1 PM EST) Chats are live, online discussions - not webinars. We gather and connect, via chat messaging to share stories, resources,...
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Chat Today: Neurofeedback for ACEs: Sebern Fisher - 10 a.m. PST / 1 p.m. EST
NOTE: Chats in the Parenting with ACEs series are now happening on the ACEs Connection home page and not here. We hope this encourages even more to join the chats. Topics we'll cover: Introduction to neurofeedback. What brain plasticity means for people without a Ph.D. Why neurofeedback helps brains that developed during ACEs. How to Attend Online Chats: Members of ACEs Connection : Go to Chats. Find today's chat. Chat starts at 10 a.m. (PST) and 1 p.m. (EST) More about Sebern F. Fisher, MA...
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Childhood violence and the Whac-A-Mole effect
Whac-A-Mole players ( by Laura ) _______________________________________________ Many people and organizations focus on preventing violence with the belief that if our society can stop violence against children, then most childhood trauma will be eradicated. However, research that has emerged over the last 20 years clearly shows that focusing primarily on violence prevention – physical and sexual abuse, in particular – doesn’t eliminate the trauma that children experience, and won’t even...
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Children of Addiction Awareness Week - Bringing ACEs Into Conversations and Celebrations
Children of Addiction (COA) Awareness Week is an annual celebration near and dear to my heart for many reasons, not the least of which are my personal experiences as a child of an alcoholic and as a child with four ACEs - three of which were the result of secondhand drinking (explained below). COA Week is an annual event celebrated during the week of Valentine’s Day - this year it's February 11 - 17. It is sponsored by the National Association for Children of Addiction, NACoA.org . NACoA’s...
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Choked & Soared: Public Speaking about Parenting After Childhood Trauma
I gave a keynote address to over 100 people. I’m not bragging. It was an epic failure. And an epic personal triumph. I traveled alone, spoke in public, met new people and shared meal times with total strangers! I tackled social anxiety, figured out flights, luggage and directions. I went in elevators and walked halls alone, without pepper spray. I searched in closets and under beds for monsters and then was able to fall asleep, and stay asleep, without drinking. Twice. Huge. Enormous.
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Medications for PTSD Tied to Increase Dementia Risk & Commentary / www.mentalhealthexcellence.org
Note: I just saw this article , and it's one alarming and depressing read and super relevant read. Lots of us take these medications and/or have kids, parents, and partners who do as well. Did you know about the increased risk for dementia associated with them? I didn't. To evaluate possible effects, the investigators turned to a nationwide sample of 417,172 US veterans aged 56 years or older who had not been diagnosed with dementia or mild cognitive impairment at baseline in 2003 and for...
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Coping with Incarceration & Sesame Street in Communities Website
I LOVED Sesame Street as a kid and I like it as a parent, too, especially when my daughter was younger. It entertained her and helped me re-parent myself at the same time. I got some serious emotional repair that way and from other kid books and shows. I worry that parents aren't watching as much as kids watch alone on devices and maybe miss out on simple, but not always known, basic and affirming messages about life, emotions and family. It's not like as a parent I'd watch Sesame Street by...
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CPTSD and Social Awkwardness: Another Source of Isolation
For those of us who grew up with abuse and neglect at home, it can be hard to know how to ACT in social situations. Here's an example.... Have you ever been to a hotel where there is a person who is there to carry your bags, and even though you didn’t ask, they carry your bags to the room and it’s totally awkward, and you think “I’m supposed to give them a tip, right? I’ve, like seen this on TV. But you don’t have cash, and they’re just standing there ," and you think, "What do I do? What do...
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Cracked Up TedTalk
Michelle Esrick’s powerful and impactful TedTalk about her personal journey making her film Cracked Up . View at https://www.crackedupmovie.com/tedtalk In Cracked Up , director Michelle Esrick’s Award-winning documentary, we witness the impact that childhood trauma can have across a lifetime through the incredibly courageous and personal story of comedian, actor and Saturday Night Live legend Darrell Hammond. Renowned for his impressions of Bill Clinton, Sean Connery and hundreds more,...
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Dear Struggling Mama (www.sobermommies.com)
This website aims to provide peer support and to help the mom-blame and mom-shame, particularly faced by those in recovery. They share both 12-step and non-12-step resources . If you know of others and/or resources geared specifically to fathers, please share in the comments. I want you to know that I get you; that you are not alone. I want to encourage you to give yourself the chance to get through whatever you’re going through however you need to, and know that it’s okay to lean on me. I...
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Early childhood educators learn new ways to spot trauma triggers, build resilience in preschoolers
A hug may be comforting to many children, but for a child who has experienced trauma it may not feel safe.
That’s an example used by Julie Kurtz, co-director of trauma informed practices in early childhood education at the WestEd Center for Child & Family Studies (CCFS), as she begins a trauma training session. Her audience, preschool teachers and staff of the San Francisco-based Wu Yee Children’s Services at San Francisco’s Women’s Building, listen attentively.
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Re: Shaming Children So Parents Will Pay the School Lunch Bill [NYTimes.com] & Note
Hello Samantha The Toxic shame described above is like "Soul murder" said The late John Bradshaw....who wrote the book," Healing the shame that binds you". Bradshaw was instrumental to my early recovery and a intellectual mentor to help me deal with those type of daily shaming messages in my abusive family system. This type of TOXIC SHAME can be healed for all of us. For me the first step is awareness. Just like you are doing with this web site and this great article where its ok. To go...
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Re: Parenting with ACEs / Quote of the Day (1)
Cissy, that's so true, very, very true. Honestly, reading your posts and those of others struggling to raise kids with their ACEs released me from the Shame-prison I struggled in. Knowing that one is not alone lifted a big block from my mental psyche!
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Re: Parenting with ACEs / Quote of the Day (1)
Cheryl: Now that's another quotable. That's entirely what this community is about. We can't heal while in the shame but the shame can keep us from healing. I think for many of us it takes understanding big picture, the pair of ACEs, and getting that we aren't alone, that there are reasons we struggle and reasons to sort through it (for our kids and ourselves and generational change). THANK YOU for commenting and being part of this community and site! Cis
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The Journey to Ready4K Trauma-Informed
It began with a request from a small rural coastal town. They needed a new way to support families facing some of the biggest challenges. Their community was experiencing trauma at a higher rate than the surrounding towns. Community members were not getting the services they desperately needed to navigate challenges.
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Webinar - Men and Trauma: Breaking the Silence
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Community as Medicine: Generating Resilience (and Funding!) via Clinic-Community Integration 2.0
Healthcare professionals are exhausted. And it doesn’t have to be this way. I’m a psychologist by training, and I study Intentional Community. Quite literally, community shaped by design, rather than by default or by drift. My experience is that in the fields of mental health and primary care, providers are asked, and heroically trying, to meet unmeetable needs – to single-handedly generate and deliver enough care, resources, support, and (yes) even love – to meet the needs of our patients...
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The Traumatic Impact of Racism on Young People and How to Talk About It [Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg]
Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg (Keynote speaker from the recent Creating a Resilient Community Conference) shared the excerpt from his book Reaching Teens titled The Traumatic Impact of Racism on Young People and How to Talk About It. This is a valuable resource for anyone interacting with youth and we are providing the excerpt as an attachment here for you to read and share. Also, Dr. Ginsburg will be coming back to our community (virtually) and you’ll be invited to his workshop. Look out for the...
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The Power of Discord: Quotes & A Better Normal Community Discussion with the Authors
The brand new book, The Power of Discord: Why the Ups and Downs of Relationships are the Secret to Building Intimacy, Resilience, and Trust was the topic of one of our A Better Normal series discussion last week. We were honored to be joined by the co-authors, Ed Tronick, Ph.D., and Claudia Gold, MD. More about each of the authors and the book can be found here and this A Better Normal community discussion is below. The audio from this conversation can be found here and selected q uotes from...
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Transforming Trauma Podcast: Post-Traumatic Growth in Communities of Color and NARM in the Classroom
Transforming Trauma Episode 015: Post-Traumatic Growth in Communities of Color and NARM in the Classroom with Giancarlo Simpson Transforming Trauma host Sarah Buino and guest Giancarlo A. Simpson, MS, reconnect in the wake of George Floyd’s death and the nationwide protests against racial violence and systemic oppression, providing real-time context to their previously-recorded conversation about NARM’s ability to address complex trauma and support post-traumatic growth in communities of...
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Transforming Trauma Podcast: Strange Situation - A Journey into Understanding Attachment, Motherhood and Developmental Trauma
Transforming Trauma Episode 016: Strange Situation: A Journey into Understanding Attachment, Motherhood and Developmental Trauma with Bethany Saltman In this episode of Transforming Trauma, author Bethany Saltman shares the lessons she learned while writing Strange Situation: A Mother’s Journey Into The Science Of Attachment . Bethany and host Sarah Buino explore the different roles that curiosity, delight, anxiety, shame, and acceptance play when looking at parent-child attachment, and...
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Reassessing our Priorities and Healing during the Pandemic: A Resource
Recently a friend reached out to say they finally got to read through the "Healing Program" on Wrestling Ghosts' Website and how helpful it was. It made me reflect on how the pandemic, like most crises in our lives, can open up the opportunity to reassess our priorities and refocus on our and our families' wellbeing. Healing childhood trauma starts with understanding the impact of toxic stress in childhood. That understanding lifts our shame and self-blame. Then comes visualizing what...
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Unbecoming an Armadillo: Recovering from Trauma with EMDR
Unbecoming an Armadillo By: Victoria F. Burns, PhD, LSW Victoriafrances49@gmail.com Instagram: @betesandbites “When you are traumatized, you are basically in a permanent defensive mode” — Gabor Mate I’m sitting across from Meg on her charcoal grey love seat. My forearms are resting on a velvety mustard-yellow throw cushion and I’m holding crescent shaped pulsers in each hand. Meg’s my psychologist; a rare gem who specializes in chronic illness and trauma. Every two weeks, we spend an hour...
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My mom asked me to name the top things I wish she would have done better as a parent. My answer might surprise you.
Because I work in the field of child trauma and ACEs science education and prevention here at ACEs Connection, I end up talking about the subject nonstop. I am passionate about this field and making change so I enthusiastically share what I'm reading and learning with everyone who will listen. Those who will listen are often my parents. (This blog, by the way, is a personal piece of writing and does not necessarily reflect the views nor represent ACEs Connection.) I know not everyone's...
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Rebecca Lewis Pankratz: Breaking Generational Poverty, Poverty Circles, & Poverty Programs
"A CEs Connection is the curator of incredible hope, healing and possibility. Parents are not the bad guys. Most of us are just kids with ACEs who grew up..." Rebecca Lewis-Pankratz Last Friday, @Rebecca Lewis-Pankratz joined our A Better Normal series to discuss poverty circles and programs. Rebecca is the Director of Learning Centers as Essdack, as well as a poverty consultant, and we met online, via Twitter (her handle is @pOVERty’s Edge. Rebecca is a brilliant speaker, gifted writer, and...
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Seven Steps to Calm an Explosive Child
Are you exhausted by the explosive behaviors of the children you love? First, I want to say I am so proud of you. I know the fatigue and frustration that comes with parenting a child who feels out of control. The fact that you are reading this article means you are looking for support and guidance, and that means you are on your way to helping the children in your life. And believe me, you are probably already doing a better job than you think! Kids need you to show up more than anything!
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Sarah Peyton discusses her book & leads a guided meditation / Tuesday, Nov. 10th, 2020
I am thrilled to announce that we have a special A Better Normal session which will be part conversation and part meditation practice for those who wish to participate. Our special guest is Sarah Peyton who is the author of Your Resonant Self: Guided Meditations and Exercise to Engage Your Brain’s Capacity for Healing. This event will be held on Tuesday, November 10th, at 12p.m. PST and 3p.m. EST. Registration link:...
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The Reparent Yourself Masterclass
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The Decision that Changed My Life
Four years ago, I decided to start a conversation about the long term impact of childhood abuse. More specifically, about what happens when those abused children grow up and have children of their own. When I had become a parent, I went looking for books on this topic, and I didn’t find anything. But I knew I couldn’t be the only one who was dealing with this. And once I found one other person who was willing to write about this, I said, let’s collect these stories. The stories of these...
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Birth Trauma, an anniversary
For mothers who experienced traumatic births, these birthdays are the cruelest of celebrations. We are supposed to smile and shower love on our children, and never admit that on these days we would really love to curl up in a ball and sob. We are not supposed to say that having our children took too high a toll on our physical and mental health. We are not supposed to mention just how badly our medical and social systems failed to support us when we needed it the most.
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A New Documentary About Breaking the Cycle of Trauma is Launching This Fall!
We are thrilled to announce the premiere of Wrestling Ghosts , a documentary about breaking the cycle of trauma, at the LA Film festival on Sept. 27th. “Incredible. Haunting and strange and beautiful and incredibly moving.” -Dan Cogan, Founder Impact Partners Wrestling Ghosts follows the epic inner journey of Kim, a young mother who, over two heartbreaking and inspiring years, battles the traumas from her past in order to create a new present and future for her and her family. In this...
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The Empowered Parent
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