Tagged With "What happened to you?"
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restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
I'm looking for all things related to the concepts of restorative parenting (Ehrhart and Mathews work), working with parents who have high ACE scores and risky parenting behaviors or even CPS involvement, supporting reconnection and repaired parent-child relationships, etc... Curriculum, research, books, articles...you name it! I'm on a mission! Thanks
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We are the We
Cissy White and I were talking about the Parenting with ACEs (this group as well as the process of parenting with ACEs). We got animated, excited and went on and on and on (as we often do when we get to talking!) We decided to write a joint blog post to tell you about our conversation and ask you to weigh in on what you want. Read on our attempt at a combined post: Gail's voice - I called to ask if Cissy thought there was need for a place on the Parenting with ACEs group site for parents to...
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What are you reading, writing, struggling with or thinking about?
Please share questions or blog posts, resources or articles with this Parenting with ACEs community. It can be personal or work related or both. If you don't feel like posting, feel free to comment or make suggestions about what you're looking for or would like to see more of and I can work to bring it here.
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What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?
Hi Everyone: I'm building out the resources for this group. I'd love to know what you have needed in your own parenting or in the work you have done/are doing with parents parenting with ACEs. If there are any good books, videos, handouts or anything you've heard are helpful, please share. If you have any comments or insights that you've said or heard people talking about needing, like more community or places to learn how to parent differently, etc., please share those as well. Thanks so...
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ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
I work at an Early Learning Center that serves Head Start and ECEAP preschool families. We are looking to bring ACES and Resiliency to parents, but want to do so in a way that is strengths-based and does not leave families feeling at a loss for what they can do to move forward from ACES they and their families may have experienced. I have found many resources between this website and some other internet searches, but we are very interested in learning about other organization's experiences...
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ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Hello all, I work at an Early Learning Center and we will be presenting on ACES and Resilience to the parents of preschoolers. One of the aspects we have debated is when to offer them the ACES and Resilience surveys. However, after reading https://www.acesconnection.com/blog/putting-resilience-and-resilience-surveys-under-the-microscope I am wondering what purpose it would ultimately serve (and what unintended consequences it may have) to give parents the surveys. It would be optional, and...
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Affects of ACEs or lack of Discipline?
When discussing the intergenerational affects of ACEs directly to families, many family elders hold a strong stance that unwanted behaviors in children are a direct result of lack of discipline not ACEs. What are some conversation starters & techniques you use in your practice to broaden understanding across generations?
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Being present was the most exhausting part of parenting
I used to sneak away for a hot bath as often as possible when my daughter was in the need-me-every-minute years. I'd soak long past when the water went cold and I felt guilty at times but sometimes I needed to be alone. To read poetry. To have some physical space. To exhale. I didn't always know where or how to pamper or self-care myself. There were few adults I trusted. I believed in attachment-style parenting and wanted to be there all of the time. And that even made me feel guilty when I...
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Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
Let's create a list of resources useful for parenting ourselves and children. These can be books about child development or self-help books or a work of fiction that had important wisdom. If there's a title that's helped you or someone you know, love or work with as it relates to parenting, please share. For me, my absolute favorite is this: There's Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber This book is not about parenting. It's not about how-to parent I should say but it...
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Can Trauma-Informed Mermaids Help Children & Families? (New Kids Book Series)
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community, We just launched a new trauma-informed children's book series called Venus and Her Fly Trip . The series has been developed in collaboration with therapists, educators, parents and healers and is designed to promote mental/social/emotional health, body positivity and imaginative play in kids 4-10 , with the ultimate goal of preventing self-hatred. I would greatly value hearing the feedback of the ACEs community on this endeavor, and welcome your ideas for...
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Coronavirus Stress Supports & New AC Community: Balancing ACEs with HOPE
Hi Everyone: I hope you are holding up o.k. I know it's early days but I'm already pretty stretched, strained, and worried. So, if you didn't see on the main page, I wanted to draw your attention to a few free things that are nurturing, calming, and can help you, especially if you are parenting and parenting with ACEs. I know I'm not the best parent I can be when I'm in survival mode so these things are welcome. Please share others as I know there are resources being offered to those that...
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Help our public radio station with our reporting: How did separation from your parents as a child impact you?
KQED is the NPR-affiliate public radio station based in San Francisco, CA. We’d like to hear from adults (18+) who were separated from their parents when they were children. Perhaps the separation was due to economic reasons, war and conflict, incarceration, foster care, or something else. How did that period of separation impact you in the long-run? How did it impact you as a parent? We’re interested in this topic due to recent news of parents and children being separated at the U.S.-Mexico...
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If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
I would like to talk to and hear from parent educators. If you teach parenting classes, incorporate parenting skills as part of the service you provide, or work to improve the lives of parenting survivors of childhood abuse in other ways, I need to hear from you. I'm hoping to find a provider interesting in writing an essay to be included in the soon to be released second edition of the Trigger Points Anthology , which will include the title change to Parenting with PTSD. I'm looking to gain...
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Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Hi everyone! I've made a blog (not yet launched) called A Resilient Parent (aresilientparent.com). I have a few goals in mind for this blog. First i want to help parents with ACEs heal, so they can thrive themselves. I also believe that whereas the focus is so strongly on this generations kids (for good reason, of course), I feel that outside help can be most effective when the parents are healing as well. Our children look up to their parents/guardians most of all! And it's not to late for...
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Prevalence of Parents with High ACEs
Does anyone have stats or data that shows how many or what percentage of parents with children 0-18 have ACEs of 4+? Either nationwide or by state. I would even take, how many/what percentage of children have parents with high ACEs... Thank you! Jocelyn
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
Hi Kerry: Have you looked through earlier posts? I can make some suggestions, if not, but what I know of, so far, is here. We're on the same mission so let's keep sharing anything and everything! I'm just about to share this one below which might offer something. Cissy http://ivoh.org/parenting-stor...ative-familys-story/
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Re: Using the World Cafe Model for ACES
Hey Roxy, this sounds great! I'm not really familiar with the "cafe" model, but I'd love to help. What kind of questions are you looking for from us? What kinds if demographics do you have in your area, and what population are you specifically trying to target? I know everyone across all demographics suffer from ACEs, but I think your content will depend on your audience.
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Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
Melissa: Great questions. I'm going to tag a few others to chime in as well. @Karen Clemmer @Rene Howitt @Rebekah Couch @Emily Read Daniels @Louise Godbold @Dawn Daum @Joyelle Brandt have all done presentations about ACEs, as have I. I'm sure we all do them differently and have experiences and thoughts on what does/doesn't work. My opinion is that sharing from the place of WE and US and OUR is most important. We are all impacted by the ACEs we do or do not carry. If we carry lots, that's a...
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Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
Melissa....I always start off my ACEs presentation by asking the audience to go back to their own childhood. Think about their siblings, parents, living room and home. As children we are not responsible for what may have happened to us and also had no control over those actions. I tell them "I know that you will be tempted to think about your own marriage, children and parenting but if you stay there this will feel like finger pointing. That is not the purpose of the presentation."...
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Re: ACES Presentation for Preschool Parents (experiences, tips, etc.)
Thank you all for your great replies and the details/resources you shared! This is so helpful for us to have moving forward.
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Re: School Council, School Improvement Plans, ACEs, Diversity & Help?
There are no short cuts! Build relationships........... when others different from you know you care they will participate. You will not have the answers to your questions unless they come from them. Not at a meeting but over coffee or dinner conversations at school events ...... YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
I just joined this group Kerry and I have a wealth of information. I would need more specifics in order to help you find what you need. Could we talk? My number is 608-843-6655 or you can email me at targetedmom@gmail.com . Kay
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
Dear Kay: If you wouldn't mind sharing as many resources as you wish, in a post, as well, that would help others, too. Cissy
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
Check out my facebook pages. Year round parenting from the heart And foster adoption circle of support. I keep posting positive resources. I have developed these two groups to prevent trauma by fueling them exclusively with material I feel helps an audience thrive. Let me know if you have some tools to add. Thanks
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
help friends i really need this group please help me lean how to connect with you all here please Thursday 02/02/17
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
Hi Rick: I'm the group manager. Welcome! You can share a question as a discussion topic or post something about you as a blog post or send me an email and let me know what brings you here. Cissy
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
Matt: Can you share a link to your Facebook page? Do you have a website as well? That types of tools do people on your page seem to like most? I'm so glad you are here! Cissy P.S. If you want to cross-post anything as a blog post here, please do.
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Re: restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
Parenting support page. Notice there is a physical group that can be attended. Our base curriculum is "Circle of Security" https://www.facebook.com/ParentingFromTheHeartHelena/ Foster/ Adoption support page positive resources https://www.facebook.com/Foste...ort-700924973360063/
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Re: School Council, School Improvement Plans, ACEs, Diversity & Help?
@Cissy White You're the best. I love that you are so boldly putting it out there! To begin with, you know that your question is laden with like 10,000 $1,000,000 questions. You may be new to this arena, but you're a quick study, so of course you have all the questions everyone in education has been grappling with for eternity: - How to include ALL VOICES? - How to bridge PTAs mission with the broader school community? - How to engage parents with busy lives, distance, etc? And for what...
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Re: Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Hi Akacia, Please share your posts with us at Parenting with PTSD when you launch your blog!
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Re: What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?
HI Pam: I just watched the video and it's WONDERFUL. It's SO GOOD!!! I bet it's wonderful for use in workshops. I will look for the book as well. I'm thrilled you are here. I'd love to talk to you about your work, in a Q&A to share in this group if you are willing. I'll send you a private message as well. Cissy
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Re: We are the We
From my experience, 'a group format' is more powerful when participants take OFF their 'professional hats,' and begin by identify the 'quadrant' they are in at the moment they are sharing. (Ex: head/intellectual, heart/emotional, hands & feet/action/relational, soul/believing.) Using this as a starting place allows a leveling playing field of connection, vs divide. Of understanding where one is coming from into the discussion. For example, after I read the posts above, I found myself in...
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Re: We are the We
Thank you for your comment, Heather. I absolutely agree that we need make sure parents get information about ACEs in ways that are useful for them (us!). I want to ask you (and the Parenting with ACEs community): what ACEs science-related information would you like to help you in discussions with fellow parents? with your family? What do folks need to help spread the work about ACEs?
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Re: We are the We
Jackie: Thank you for your thoughts. I agree with you about not dividing the group because so many of us do wear several different hats, and conversing, from all the perspectives, including ones not our own, is what makes this group so potentially powerful. If you have any resources to share, or more thoughts, and feelings or ideas, please keep sharing! Cissy
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Re: We are the We
Jackie: Thanks so much for these resources. If there are any specific ones you especially like, please share them in the Parenting with ACEs group and I'll check them out as well. Thank you! Cissy
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Re: Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Akacia: Hello. Nice to meet you. I'm the Community Manager for this community and I really hope you'll share your blog posts HERE. I think your perspective is key and I appreciate how much you shared. There are over 300 hundred of us here and many of us are parents or work with parents (have ACEs, kids or people we love or work with have ACEs) and we're all learning about trauma informed EVERYTHING and how we can heal and help support and understand our kids and be there for our kids. I love...
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Re: Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Thank you for your uplifting response! I'm so excited and will absolutely share everything here! The way I see it, it's very important to know what good may have helped trump the bad of the past, because change is hard and if one fails time and time again to, for example quit using drugs, they may be able to simply add more love to their parenting and hopefully counteract even the slightest bit of the trauma that may accompany having a parent who is addicted. Knowing there's always options...
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Re: Prevalence of Parents with High ACEs
Do you mean the general discussion? I’m not otherwise sure how to ask from the home site... On Sun, Nov 12, 2017 at 9:59 AM ACEsConnection < communitymanager@acesconnection.com> wrote:
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Re: Prevalence of Parents with High ACEs
Jocelyn: when you click post from the home page there is a drop down menu. If you select ask the community, you can ask a question there. It's always give to do a blog post, too. But those can move quickly from the home page depending how many we get. Questions to the community stay on the home page a bit longer. Let me know if you need any help! cis
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Re: Prevalence of Parents with High ACEs
Jocelyn: Here's some article links that might be helpful. There's great data on general populations of adults with ACEs and even more on children with ACEs but I'm not sure there's anything that ties it together as directly as you are asking (though that would be fantastic). Here are some places for digging further. https://jamanetwork.com/journa.../fullarticle/2300375 https://www.pacesconnection.com/...xperiences-in-the-us This special issue can link you to lots of writers and researchers...
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Re: If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
Dawn: This is a great question and will make the book even more useful. Are you looking for survivor-led or co-led, only, initiatives, or everything and anything? Cissy
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Re: Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
I think there are a lot of resources that can help parents who are parenting with ACEs. Two books offering a lot of very practical support are both older classics-- How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Faber & Mazlish) and Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) by Thomas Gordon Both these books contain information and practical examples that can help parents become more resourced for responding constructively in moments or situations that are likely to be...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
HI Melissa: I know it's WAY late and I apologize for not seeing your question earlier! While I don't favor screening of parents I'm all for sharing surveys with parents. I don't favor screening til the medical, insurance, and screening places doing screenings have addressed race, gender, class, disability, homophobia and basically all kinds of bias since we know those most impacted most with most risks for ACE-associated issues are poor, female, LBGTQ, of color, and struggling with emotional...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Thank you for your reply, Cissy! I appreciate the perspective you shared. What we ended up doing at the first evening of the event was sending the parents home with a folder that had the ACEs and Resilience surveys, in addition to some other brief documents about Resilience, Serve and Return, etc. On the second evening, we did ask parents to reflect on their experience if they had done the survey at home. I especially like the point you made about acknowledging that often, we don't...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Melissa: Thanks for the update. I think parent cafes and watching and then discussing movies is great. It's nice for someone to guide, lead and prompt with questions and make a comfy space. Once that happens, it seems parents (and everyone) is pretty eager to share. Did you feel like your event went well? It sounds like it! Cissy
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Hi Cissy, Yes, we were pleased with the event! We had a snow day on the original day of Part 1 and rescheduled it for the evening of Part 2, and then shifted Part 2 to the following week. We ended up having only about 1/3 of the participants who had RSVP'd, but I think that was largely due to the rescheduling that had to happen. We're looking forward to making some changes and scheduling it earlier next year to hopefully avoid the snow
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Corona, Racism, Financial Stress, Online Schooling - PARENTS are stressed and need our help!
This has been a brutal year, especially on kids and their parents! Research says parents are YELLING more, SPANKING more and that the mental health of children is on the decline. Research suggests child abuse in on the rise. SO MUCH STRESS! Parents really need us right now. Help us create a community of care! We are launching the 6th annual NoSpank Challenge to help parents learn... Brain development (and what is normal!) How to parent non-violently How to talk to your children in a way that...
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Seeking Parent Input on New Tool to Work with Families on Relational Health
Relational Health is vital to not just our mental well being but also to our physical health. VITAL's goal is to promote relational health, especially in partnership with parents/caregivers and pediatric providers. We are currently developing a tool to be used by pediatric practices to support children and their families to have safe, stable and nurturing relationships (SSNRs). If you'd be interested in taking a look and sharing your ideas, you could contribute to the design of a tool that...