Tagged With "parenting skills"
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Introducing myself: Cissy White, parent with ACEs who’s parenting with ACEs (and who’s the Parenting with ACEs group's new group manager!)
I learned about the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study and 10- questionnaire survey only two years ago, and it’s fair to say I’ve been obsessed with it ever since. I’m a mother, a trauma survivor, an activist and a writer. For years, I’ve written personal essays , profile pieces and a few research-style papers about post-traumatic stress disorder, developmental trauma and interpersonal violence. Yet, something was missing. In my own recovery, I’d often say, in therapy and to friends and lovers,...
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Introducing the Full Potential Parenting Podcast!
I'm excited to announce that The Full Potential Parenting Podcast is here! This podcast features short (6-12 min.) segments with stress release techniques that work, offers book reviews of books that have been transformational, informative, or inspiring, introduces concepts critical to any parent of a child who is experiencing big (and confusing) emotions and behaviors, and provides insights about non-pharma approaches to healing. The first few episodes are now available on iTunes here:...
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Is your school a buffer zone against toxic stress?
The challenge of the fast pace and the strain of living in the 21 st century is the chronic stress of keeping up with volume of information, expectations and adverse experiences that leads to stressors of daily living. Adults have become good at adjusting to and compartmentalizing these stressors. Children and adolescents however are struggling to keep up and are in fact caving under the weight of the stresses. In addition, many children lack adequate nurturing and supports needed to give...
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When Will the Internet Be Safe for Women (Atlantic.com)
*Note: I'm posting this to the Parenting with ACEs site because so many of us have daughters who face this and the responses, often, by authorities are so poor. While some of us may not want or need to be on social media in our personal or professional lives, many choose to be and/or need to be and should be able to exercise the right with safety. This is another cyber safety issue but not one addressed early or often enough. At minimum this can help better educate all of us so we can better...
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When Your Child Is Your PTSD Trigger
One-third of children experience childhood abuse, and yet the question is never asked: what happens when those children grow up and have families of their own?
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Why Icelandic Dads Take Parental Leave and Japanese Dads Don't [theatlantic.com]
By Joe Pinsker, The Atlantic, January 23, 2020 Earlier this month, the 38-year-old Japanese environment minister, Shinjiro Koizumi, did something that would not make national, or even local, news in many industrialized countries: A couple of days before the birth of his and his wife’s first child, he said he planned to take time off from work to care for the baby. Koizumi’s planned leave is meager—he expects to take about two weeks off over the course of three months, and might still work...
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Why Kids With ACEs Shouldn't Get a Pass on Chores
Don't worry that chores are too stressful for kids with ACEs, says trauma researcher Bob Sege, MD. “You don’t want to coddle them,” Sege said, “because the message they will get is that they are damaged goods. They need to know that the adversity they suffered is only one part of them; it’s not all of them.”
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Why Social And Emotional Skill Building In Early Childhood Matters [ChildTrends.org]
I started my career as a preschool teacher. For 13 years, I helped 3- to 5-year-old children learn how to write their name; count, sort and use other foundational math concepts; manage their toileting and dressing independently; and meet other easily-observable school-readiness milestones. The children were flourishing, and their families were delighted with their achievements! But woven throughout the multi-faceted learning experiences supporting cognitive, language, physical, and self-help...
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Young Parents Speak Out: Barriers, Bias, and Broken Systems [aecf.org]
By National Crittenton and Katcher Consulting, Annie E. Casey Foundation, March 2020 Founded in 1883 as a social justice advocacy organization, National Crittenton has been dedicated to the needs and potential of girls, young women and women facing violence, poverty and injustice across the country for more than a century. Additionally, National Crittenton convenes the 26 Yet, systems have turned a blind eye to the ways in which the “safety net” designed for adults is a “trap” for young...
Ask the Community
ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Hello all, I work at an Early Learning Center and we will be presenting on ACES and Resilience to the parents of preschoolers. One of the aspects we have debated is when to offer them the ACES and Resilience surveys. However, after reading https://www.acesconnection.com/blog/putting-resilience-and-resilience-surveys-under-the-microscope I am wondering what purpose it would ultimately serve (and what unintended consequences it may have) to give parents the surveys. It would be optional, and...
Ask the Community
Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
Let's create a list of resources useful for parenting ourselves and children. These can be books about child development or self-help books or a work of fiction that had important wisdom. If there's a title that's helped you or someone you know, love or work with as it relates to parenting, please share. For me, my absolute favorite is this: There's Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber This book is not about parenting. It's not about how-to parent I should say but it...
Ask the Community
Can Trauma-Informed Mermaids Help Children & Families? (New Kids Book Series)
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community, We just launched a new trauma-informed children's book series called Venus and Her Fly Trip . The series has been developed in collaboration with therapists, educators, parents and healers and is designed to promote mental/social/emotional health, body positivity and imaginative play in kids 4-10 , with the ultimate goal of preventing self-hatred. I would greatly value hearing the feedback of the ACEs community on this endeavor, and welcome your ideas for...
Ask the Community
Help our public radio station with our reporting: How did separation from your parents as a child impact you?
KQED is the NPR-affiliate public radio station based in San Francisco, CA. We’d like to hear from adults (18+) who were separated from their parents when they were children. Perhaps the separation was due to economic reasons, war and conflict, incarceration, foster care, or something else. How did that period of separation impact you in the long-run? How did it impact you as a parent? We’re interested in this topic due to recent news of parents and children being separated at the U.S.-Mexico...
Ask the Community
If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
I would like to talk to and hear from parent educators. If you teach parenting classes, incorporate parenting skills as part of the service you provide, or work to improve the lives of parenting survivors of childhood abuse in other ways, I need to hear from you. I'm hoping to find a provider interesting in writing an essay to be included in the soon to be released second edition of the Trigger Points Anthology , which will include the title change to Parenting with PTSD. I'm looking to gain...
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National Parent Survey Overview and Key Insights (www.zerotothree.org) & Commentary
Thanks to Jane I just discovered this FABULOUS website - Zero to Three . The thing I love most is the same thing I love about the entire ACEs Connection community. It's a blend or research, personal experiences and social policy all blended into a fabulous incubator for social change. The Zero to Three website which has resources, articles, videos and podcasts too. It's ALL good. But today I'm going to share some insights from a parent survey recently done. The results are fascinating. It's...
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New Member offering resources and training to parents of ACEs kids
Hi everyone! So glad to have found you all. (I'm still learning my way around so apologies if I've posted this in a few places.) I'm Alison Morris, single adoptive mother to a child with early developmental trauma whose ACEs score is sadly quite high. Even more sad is that I think my own parenting may have added a check or two since I had no idea what was going on for quite a while, and even when I did I found it SO hard to parent in a trauma-informed (connection- and relationship-based)...
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New Resource - Pre-Father Care: Prenatal Care for Fathers
Hello! I am writing to share a wonderful new resource from the Vital Village Network’s friend and partner, Charles C. Daniels, Jr. Charles is the Founder and CEO of Fathers’ Uplift, which works to assist fathers in overcoming barriers (financial barriers, addiction barriers, oppressive barriers, emotional barriers and traumatic barriers) that prevent them from remaining engaged in their children’s lives. Charles’s book “Pre-Father Care: Prenatal Care for Fathers” is now available for...
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Now is the Time to Be, not Do (interpersonalinsights.blog)
With Covid 19 keeping most of us at home, now's the time to let our lives catch up to us and envision a new future.
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Nurturing Children During Times of Stress: A Guide to Help Children Bloom by Yolo CAPC and YCCA
The Yolo County Child Abuse Prevention Council (CAPC) and Yolo County Children’s Alliance (YCCA) are excited to share Nurturing Children During Times of Stress: A Guide to Help Children Bloom. This guide for parents and caregivers, which we are launching during Child Abuse Prevention Month, contains tips and resources that parents and caregivers can use to promote resilience in their children and themselves. Nurturing Children During Times of Stress explains the effects of intense stress or...
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Parent with ACEs: Is it Time to Change Your Parenting Playbook [sfbayview.com]
By Diana Hembree, San Francisco Bay View, February 1, 2020 If you experienced severe hardship as a child, are you more likely to have children with behavior or mental health problems? The short answer is yes. A recent UCLA study shows that the children of parents with four or more Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), such as abuse or neglect, are twice as likely to develop ADHD, which makes it more likely children will become hyperactive and unable to pay attention or control their...
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Parental Depression Forecasts Kids' Later Physical Health [news.uga.edu]
By Allyson Mann, University of Georgia Today, October 24, 2019 When parents suffer from depression, kids may be at risk for physical health problems in young adulthood, according to a study from researchers including the University of Georgia’s Katherine Ehrlich. The results revealed an association between parental depression and youth metabolic syndrome—a condition that forecasts substantially increased risk for cardiovascular disease and diabetes. “The good news is that while parental...
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Parentification: Growing Up Too Soon
“ We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us - how we can take it, what we do with it - and that is what really counts in the end. How to take the raw stuff of life and make it a thing of worth and beauty - that is the test of living.” Joseph Fort Newton This week in the childhood trauma education series, I will tackle parentification . I discovered so much while researching this topic that explains a lot for me. Have you heard...
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Parentification: Growing Up Too Soon
“ We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life. But we can decide what happens in us - how we can take it, what we do with it - and that is what really counts in the end. How to take the raw stuff of life and make it a thing of worth and beauty - that is the test of living.” Joseph Fort Newton This week in the childhood trauma education series, I will tackle parentification . I discovered so much while researching this topic that explains a lot for me. Have you heard...
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Parenting as a Survivor Keynote to Follow Free Resilience Screening
I share my story of having an ACE score of 9 and how that has effected me as a mother, because I can make sense of it now. I want other parenting survivors, and those that provide education and support services to them to be able to do the same.
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Parenting, COVID and Teens: The Hassle
It all started for me about two weeks ago. Even though I heard about Coronavirus here and there, it was just a distant conversation happening on the background for me. Until one day, I got home from work, and my husband said we had to start stocking up for the crisis . "Crisis? Which crisis?", I asked. "The outbreak! It is serious. My company is preparing us to work from home for at least four weeks". "Get out of here," I thought. He is known for being anxious and controlling, so I scratched...
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PARENTING GUIDES: Please share to support parents
During this challenging time, parents need more resources than ever. Please let parents know about the following guides from the Yolo County Children's Alliance and the Yolo Child Abuse Prevention Council. All guides are available at www.yolokids.org/forfamilies , and I have attached a summary of the guides if you would prefer to share that. Please note that we will be releasing our positive discipline guide on 4/1/20 ( Handling Your Child's Challenging Behaviors at Every Age ). The guides...
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Parenting in a Pandemic [medium.com]
By Damon Korb, Medium, March 16, 2020 It is a well-known fact that children thrive when there are routines. This time of year most children wake up, get dressed, eat their breakfast, head off to school where they move from class to class, come home and have a snack, do some homework, have some free time or participate in an afterschool activity, eat dinner, and then get ready for bed. The daily life for most children is pretty mapped out and organized. But, as children suddenly need to stay...
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Parenting Kids Who Have Been Afraid & Our Amazing Communities (Greater Richmond TICN)
I can't keep up with all the posts about the incredible work being done all over the country (and world). I've just been looking at the Greater Richmond (VA) Trauma Informed Community Network site where share the most detailed meeting minutes, including summarizing events and speakers they host. I found resources I'm going to add to the Parenting with ACEs site . and @Lisa Wrightgave me permission to broadcast them all over the home page, too. Here's an excerpt from a recent...
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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (The National Academies Press 2016)
A study published by The National Academies of Sciences in 2016 resulting in 10 Recommendations to build support for parents... "Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting- related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting- related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important...
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Parenting’s Troubled History
As we learned from the CDC-Kaiser Permanente ACE Study , negative childhood experiences are often kept secret, downplayed, or repressed because of our powerful desire to put such things behind us. Unfortunately, our minds and our brains don’t work that way. Patterns can play out automatically, no matter how hard we try to be original and create our own realities. Just as it is important to know family medical history (e.g., diabetes or tuberculosis) it is equally important to know about our...
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Parenting Weekend Intensive
Our Ten Week Curriculum in Two Days!! Echo encourages all parents to come and be part of our community at the Saturday parenting classes in Echo Park. For those who live too far away or have other barriers to attending the 10-week series, we are offering our trauma-informed, nonviolent parenting class series over one weekend. In the 12-hour intensive you’ll experience an approach to raising children that is based on the latest research about brain and child development, as well as the...
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Parenting With ACEs: How You Can Support Your Toddler [sfbayview.com]
By Diana Hembree, San Francisco Bay View, November 11, 2019 “My 2-year-old keeps falling down when he tries to walk.” “My son is almost 24 months old, but all he can say is ‘mama’ and dada.’” “She just turned 2, and she still can’t follow the simplest instructions.” When your toddler misses a developmental milestone, like taking her first steps by age 2, it’s natural to fret. After all, in very rare cases, such delays may be a sign of an underlying condition. But a recent study suggests that...
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Parenting with PTSD Workshop: Getting to the Source of the Cycle
It took aging in to a very restless soul before I went looking for and found others like me ; women convinced they were “over” or “through” the ripple effects of childhood abuse, only to be blindsided by flashbacks, panic attacks and dangerous levels of hopelessness after becoming mothers. What I discovered and now aim to help others understand is how absolutely normal it is for a parenting survivor of childhood trauma to be triggered by her own child, and by doing basic acts of parenting...
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Parents worrying about coronavirus' toll on children's learning survey finds [edsource.org]
By John Fensterwald, EdSource, April 23, 2020 Buffeted by the coronavirus’ impact on their lives and on schools, Californians expressed worry about the spread of the pandemic and their personal finances, and parents in particular said they were concerned about school closures’ impact on their children’s ability to learn. But in an annual voter survey by the Public Policy Institute of California , they also gave high marks to Gov. Gavin Newsom’s handling of K-12 education and to their school...
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Paying Attention as the Most Exhausting Part of Parenting with ACEs
I used to sneak away for a hot bath as often as possible when my daughter was in the need-me-every-minute years. I'd soak long past when the water went cold and I felt guilty at times but sometimes I needed to be alone. To read poetry. To have some physical space. To exhale. I didn't always know where or how to pamper or self-care myself. There were few adults I trusted. I believed in attachment-style parenting and wanted to be there all of the time. And that even made me feel guilty when I...
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Personal and Parental Reflections on Adverse Childhood Experiences
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUJHvbPrL0I
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Personal Touch Beats Technology for Parent-School Communication, Survey Finds [edweek.org]
By Jake Maher, Education Week, February 20, 2020 A new report from the Center for American Progress finds that personalization—not technology—is seen as the most important feature of good parent-school communication by key players in the public school community. CAP senior consultant Meg Benner and research associate Abby Quirk surveyed more than 900 parents who were broadly representative of the public school population, along with more than 400 teachers and more than 400 school leaders, to...
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Positive Childhood Experiences offset ACEs: Q & A with Dr. Robert Sege about HOPE
Tufts University medical professor Dr. Robert Sege directs the Center for Community-Engaged Medicine and is nationally known for his research on effective health systems approaches that address social determinants of health. He is also the principal investigator for the HOPE framework (Healthy Outcomes from Positive Experiences).The HOPE framework is based on research that shows how positive childhood experiences can mitigate the effects of adverse childhood experiences. Sege and colleagues...
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Prevention: Bringing Baby Home Training for Faciliators
A friend of mine recently referred her grandchild and his pregnant wife to a Bringing Baby Home class, because she noticed that the wife had a horrible background of abuse and at times had difficulty functioning. What the grandmother noticed with this couple was a change in the family dynamics. the couple knows how to get along, the father is engaged in parenting, and the baby thriving. This is really starting at the root of the problem. 20 years ago, Drs. John and Julie Gottman worked with...
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Promoting Trauma-Informed Parenting of Children in Out-of-Home Care: An Effectiveness Study of the Resource Parent Curriculum. (Abstract Only) [psycnet.apa.org]
By Kathryn J. Murray, Kelly M. Sullivan, Maria C. Lent, et al., APA PsycNET, March 2020 Abstract The Resource Parent Curriculum (RPC) is a workshop designed to promote trauma-informed parenting among foster, adoptive, and kinship caregivers (i.e., resource parents). The ultimate goal of RPC is to improve placement stability and promote healing from traumatic stress in children who have been placed in out-of-home care. The current study examined data from multiple RPC implementation sites...
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Protecting Our Children's Mental Health During the Pandemic
Our physical health is not the only form of health that is in jeopardy right now. The emotional health of our families is also at risk, and it can help to take proactive steps now to mitigate psychological damage to your children and prevent a silent aftermath of this outbreak.
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Puzzle Pieces
A 5000 piece puzzle that was thrown up in the air and scattered amongst the fall leaves. That is how I imagined my life looked liked 6+ years ago. I was struggling with flashbacks, body memories, brain fog, panic attacks, insomnia and dissociation. My trauma history was coming crashing in on me and impacting EVERY area of my life. I no longer could pull myself up, dusting myself off and with head down barreling though life. I had to face my past and put together the pieces of that puzzle one...
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Re: Reimbursement for Parenting Education and Support Services
Dear Stephanie: This is FANTASTIC information! I'm printing the paper out right now so I can read it and will reply later tonight. Thank you so much for sharing this! Cissy
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Re: Reimbursement for Parenting Education and Support Services
Dear Stephanie: I hope parenting education gets reimbursed and am glad to have read more on the topic. It makes me want to learn more about the parent support programs that exist, which ones are trauma informed or use peers, what makes them evidence based or not, and what people charge and/or have to pay for parenting support. This is important and needed and parent supports helps parents and families. it's hard to show the exact ways it's cost effective, in the long run, to work more on...
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Re: Tell Me About You
A piece of my personal journey... I recall being stunned by how much my own history and past kept rearing its ugly head as parent of 3 children under the age of 1. I so desperately wanted to be a "great" parent. I read A LOT of parenting and self-help books and worked hard to put into practice what I learned. It was so frustrating to not understand why I had to constantly re-frame and fight urges to react in the ways that didn't align with the parent or person that I wanted to be. Through my...
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Re: Tell Me About You
Robin: Thank you for this post. I have met so many parents (and I am one as well) that was incredible relieved and frightened by finding out about ACEs. To me, it's a motivating fear not a paralyzing one. And it's SO MUCH work to reframe. I so get that. There's effort in shaping behaviors and feelings and impulses. And that's why I think self-care comes in or meditation or all the things that give support for that work. Change can't happen just because we hope or wish for it - though that's...
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Re: ACEs-, Trauma-Informed, and Resilience-Building Parenting Programs
Another program addressing reducing ACEs, particularly related to addiction is Celebrating Families!™ - a family-centered, skill-building program serving children ages birth through 17, their parents, and caregivers. This evidence-based program, available from the National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACoA),emphasizes healthy living skills including addiction prevention/recovery; attachment; the development of a sense of hope and expanded life view; reduction of stress/anxiety;...
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Re: ACEs-, Trauma-Informed, and Resilience-Building Parenting Programs
I added a comment on the site a few days ago. Would like NACoA's Celebrating Families! added to the list. Description (which I added to the site) attached. Rosemary Rosemary Tisch, Program Developer Celebrating Families! National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACoA) rstisch@gmail.com, 408-406-0467 www.celebratingfamilies.net www.nacoa.org
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Re: 9 Signs You Need Better Self-Care and May Be a Trauma Survivor
Robyn: I shared this in Parenting with ACEs because it's so important for those of us who are parents. I always appreciate your work and how generously you share. This list is helpful. It's great to see what an ideal is and what many trauma survivors do instead - as you said - for good reason. I know for me, this is a lot of what my adult learning has been. 1)What I did as a kid. 2)What people who don't grow up with trauma do (so I can help teach that to my kid) And also, I get irked at the...