Tagged With "ACE Parenting"
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restorative parenting, trauma informed parenting...
I'm looking for all things related to the concepts of restorative parenting (Ehrhart and Mathews work), working with parents who have high ACE scores and risky parenting behaviors or even CPS involvement, supporting reconnection and repaired parent-child relationships, etc... Curriculum, research, books, articles...you name it! I'm on a mission! Thanks
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School Council, School Improvement Plans, ACEs, Diversity & Help?
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community: I'm wondering if anyone has worked ACEs-related language into a School Council School Improvement Plan? I'm on the School Council for a charter school and we're looking at improving parent engagement., in general, and as part of that I'm trying to introduce two topics: 1) ACEs and 2)Race, Class & Parent Involvement We have kids from 30 different communities and 1/3 of the students are Haitian. The other 2/3 are mostly but not entirely Caucasian.
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Using the World Cafe Model for ACES
Minnesota Communities Caring for Children has been doing Parent Cafes for several years. We are piloting an ACE Cafe for parents/grassroots communities and would like to know if anyone has used this model for this purpose? We will do three cafes with the following topics. Cafe I- The Study Cafe II Brain Science Cafe II Becoming Self Healing Communities We are looking for partners to help us create questions for each Cafe.
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We are the We
Cissy White and I were talking about the Parenting with ACEs (this group as well as the process of parenting with ACEs). We got animated, excited and went on and on and on (as we often do when we get to talking!) We decided to write a joint blog post to tell you about our conversation and ask you to weigh in on what you want. Read on our attempt at a combined post: Gail's voice - I called to ask if Cissy thought there was need for a place on the Parenting with ACEs group site for parents to...
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What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?
Hi Everyone: I'm building out the resources for this group. I'd love to know what you have needed in your own parenting or in the work you have done/are doing with parents parenting with ACEs. If there are any good books, videos, handouts or anything you've heard are helpful, please share. If you have any comments or insights that you've said or heard people talking about needing, like more community or places to learn how to parent differently, etc., please share those as well. Thanks so...
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ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Hello all, I work at an Early Learning Center and we will be presenting on ACES and Resilience to the parents of preschoolers. One of the aspects we have debated is when to offer them the ACES and Resilience surveys. However, after reading https://www.acesconnection.com/blog/putting-resilience-and-resilience-surveys-under-the-microscope I am wondering what purpose it would ultimately serve (and what unintended consequences it may have) to give parents the surveys. It would be optional, and...
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Affects of ACEs or lack of Discipline?
When discussing the intergenerational affects of ACEs directly to families, many family elders hold a strong stance that unwanted behaviors in children are a direct result of lack of discipline not ACEs. What are some conversation starters & techniques you use in your practice to broaden understanding across generations?
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Being present was the most exhausting part of parenting
I used to sneak away for a hot bath as often as possible when my daughter was in the need-me-every-minute years. I'd soak long past when the water went cold and I felt guilty at times but sometimes I needed to be alone. To read poetry. To have some physical space. To exhale. I didn't always know where or how to pamper or self-care myself. There were few adults I trusted. I believed in attachment-style parenting and wanted to be there all of the time. And that even made me feel guilty when I...
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Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
Let's create a list of resources useful for parenting ourselves and children. These can be books about child development or self-help books or a work of fiction that had important wisdom. If there's a title that's helped you or someone you know, love or work with as it relates to parenting, please share. For me, my absolute favorite is this: There's Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate , Cheri Huber This book is not about parenting. It's not about how-to parent I should say but it...
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Can Trauma-Informed Mermaids Help Children & Families? (New Kids Book Series)
Dear Parenting with ACEs Community, We just launched a new trauma-informed children's book series called Venus and Her Fly Trip . The series has been developed in collaboration with therapists, educators, parents and healers and is designed to promote mental/social/emotional health, body positivity and imaginative play in kids 4-10 , with the ultimate goal of preventing self-hatred. I would greatly value hearing the feedback of the ACEs community on this endeavor, and welcome your ideas for...
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Coronavirus Stress Supports & New AC Community: Balancing ACEs with HOPE
Hi Everyone: I hope you are holding up o.k. I know it's early days but I'm already pretty stretched, strained, and worried. So, if you didn't see on the main page, I wanted to draw your attention to a few free things that are nurturing, calming, and can help you, especially if you are parenting and parenting with ACEs. I know I'm not the best parent I can be when I'm in survival mode so these things are welcome. Please share others as I know there are resources being offered to those that...
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Help our public radio station with our reporting: How did separation from your parents as a child impact you?
KQED is the NPR-affiliate public radio station based in San Francisco, CA. We’d like to hear from adults (18+) who were separated from their parents when they were children. Perhaps the separation was due to economic reasons, war and conflict, incarceration, foster care, or something else. How did that period of separation impact you in the long-run? How did it impact you as a parent? We’re interested in this topic due to recent news of parents and children being separated at the U.S.-Mexico...
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If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
I would like to talk to and hear from parent educators. If you teach parenting classes, incorporate parenting skills as part of the service you provide, or work to improve the lives of parenting survivors of childhood abuse in other ways, I need to hear from you. I'm hoping to find a provider interesting in writing an essay to be included in the soon to be released second edition of the Trigger Points Anthology , which will include the title change to Parenting with PTSD. I'm looking to gain...
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Looking for schools that specialize in "Resilience trumps ACEs"
I am a volunteer in my community who are in the early stages of learning about trauma informed care. There are some teenagers in our community who have been impacted by ACEs and succumbed to using opioids. A few of them who could afford the expense have enrolled in out of state (expensive) residential treatment centers (RTC). I am not sure if some of these RTCs explicitly use trauma informed care. I am observing that the RTC "graduates" returning home may or may not be resilient, especially...
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Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Hi everyone! I've made a blog (not yet launched) called A Resilient Parent (aresilientparent.com). I have a few goals in mind for this blog. First i want to help parents with ACEs heal, so they can thrive themselves. I also believe that whereas the focus is so strongly on this generations kids (for good reason, of course), I feel that outside help can be most effective when the parents are healing as well. Our children look up to their parents/guardians most of all! And it's not to late for...
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Re: Using the World Cafe Model for ACES
Be Strong Families of Illinois has developed a parent cafe model that incorporates addressing the Five Protective Factors in the parent cafe dyad. California LAUNCH, with Be Strong Families, is looking at how to use parents' knowledge of ACEs to help them understand how to be the parents they want to be for their children. Rather than create separate ACEs cafes, ACEs science is integrated with the Five Protective Factors parent cafe model. If you'd like more information, contact me at...
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Re: Affects of ACEs or lack of Discipline?
It can be helpful to have folk reframe behaviour as an issue of regulation in the child or young person. Then they can start thinking ways of how they can assist the young person to regulate - which is unlikely to prompt solutions involving more discipline.
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Re: Affects of ACEs or lack of Discipline?
Hi Naketta, Please find a couple of blog posts for your perusal that may prove beneficial as conversation starters. https://www.pacesconnection.com/...ty-sciencedirect-com https://www.pacesconnection.com/...e-wmcactionnews5-com https://www.pacesconnection.com/...he-roots-of-violence In her book For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence , Miller hammers home her provocative stance that the root causes of ALL violence are a consequence of childhood trauma. Of...
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Re: School Council, School Improvement Plans, ACEs, Diversity & Help?
@Cissy White You're the best. I love that you are so boldly putting it out there! To begin with, you know that your question is laden with like 10,000 $1,000,000 questions. You may be new to this arena, but you're a quick study, so of course you have all the questions everyone in education has been grappling with for eternity: - How to include ALL VOICES? - How to bridge PTAs mission with the broader school community? - How to engage parents with busy lives, distance, etc? And for what...
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Re: Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
Daniel Siegel book The Whole Brain Child is a much easier read. Our Circle of Parents groups in Minnesota have used it with much success. He now has a workbookey that goes along with it.
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Re: What Do You Think Parents Need Most When Parenting with ACEs?
I have a long history of personal and professional experience with childhood trauma. In the past 12+ years, I have been doing childhood trauma training. A number of years ago I was was privileged to experience educating parents, in community forums, about ACEs and Resilience. I really wanted a second voice - a parent who could reflect, parent to parent, about their experience having had early trauma. I invited several folks to do this, and it was very difficult for them. Having a son who is...
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Re: We are the We
WOW, talk about a loaded question!! I for one as an early childhood teacher/center director, PBS community outreach teacher, parent and child tend to answer from any or all of these perspectives as the posts opportune. I think dividing the group would be a mistake as parents are probably coming to the site seeking professional ideas and answers that may help them in their given situation. A list of resources may not be as useful to the parents as are links within our professional posts. And...
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Re: We are the We
From my experience, 'a group format' is more powerful when participants take OFF their 'professional hats,' and begin by identify the 'quadrant' they are in at the moment they are sharing. (Ex: head/intellectual, heart/emotional, hands & feet/action/relational, soul/believing.) Using this as a starting place allows a leveling playing field of connection, vs divide. Of understanding where one is coming from into the discussion. For example, after I read the posts above, I found myself in...
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Re: Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
I like Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel Siegel and Childhood Disrupted by Donna Jackson Nakazawa . m
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Re: Need opinions about parenting and self-care blog!
Thank you for your uplifting response! I'm so excited and will absolutely share everything here! The way I see it, it's very important to know what good may have helped trump the bad of the past, because change is hard and if one fails time and time again to, for example quit using drugs, they may be able to simply add more love to their parenting and hopefully counteract even the slightest bit of the trauma that may accompany having a parent who is addicted. Knowing there's always options...
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Re: If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
Dawn: This is a great question and will make the book even more useful. Are you looking for survivor-led or co-led, only, initiatives, or everything and anything? Cissy
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Re: If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
I work with ParentingBeyondPunishment to provide parenting support for parents with ACEs. Here is a sample free webinar series we did to help parents with their own self regulation and their children. http://stopspanking.org/nip/resiliency/
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Re: Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
I think there are a lot of resources that can help parents who are parenting with ACEs. Two books offering a lot of very practical support are both older classics-- How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Faber & Mazlish) and Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) by Thomas Gordon Both these books contain information and practical examples that can help parents become more resourced for responding constructively in moments or situations that are likely to be...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
HI Melissa: I know it's WAY late and I apologize for not seeing your question earlier! While I don't favor screening of parents I'm all for sharing surveys with parents. I don't favor screening til the medical, insurance, and screening places doing screenings have addressed race, gender, class, disability, homophobia and basically all kinds of bias since we know those most impacted most with most risks for ACE-associated issues are poor, female, LBGTQ, of color, and struggling with emotional...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Thank you for your reply, Cissy! I appreciate the perspective you shared. What we ended up doing at the first evening of the event was sending the parents home with a folder that had the ACEs and Resilience surveys, in addition to some other brief documents about Resilience, Serve and Return, etc. On the second evening, we did ask parents to reflect on their experience if they had done the survey at home. I especially like the point you made about acknowledging that often, we don't...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Melissa: Thanks for the update. I think parent cafes and watching and then discussing movies is great. It's nice for someone to guide, lead and prompt with questions and make a comfy space. Once that happens, it seems parents (and everyone) is pretty eager to share. Did you feel like your event went well? It sounds like it! Cissy
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Hi Cissy, Yes, we were pleased with the event! We had a snow day on the original day of Part 1 and rescheduled it for the evening of Part 2, and then shifted Part 2 to the following week. We ended up having only about 1/3 of the participants who had RSVP'd, but I think that was largely due to the rescheduling that had to happen. We're looking forward to making some changes and scheduling it earlier next year to hopefully avoid the snow
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Corona, Racism, Financial Stress, Online Schooling - PARENTS are stressed and need our help!
This has been a brutal year, especially on kids and their parents! Research says parents are YELLING more, SPANKING more and that the mental health of children is on the decline. Research suggests child abuse in on the rise. SO MUCH STRESS! Parents really need us right now. Help us create a community of care! We are launching the 6th annual NoSpank Challenge to help parents learn... Brain development (and what is normal!) How to parent non-violently How to talk to your children in a way that...
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Seeking Parent Input on New Tool to Work with Families on Relational Health
Relational Health is vital to not just our mental well being but also to our physical health. VITAL's goal is to promote relational health, especially in partnership with parents/caregivers and pediatric providers. We are currently developing a tool to be used by pediatric practices to support children and their families to have safe, stable and nurturing relationships (SSNRs). If you'd be interested in taking a look and sharing your ideas, you could contribute to the design of a tool that...