Tagged With "ACEs"
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Re: When a Mother Loves an Alcoholic - Parenting With ACEs
Lisa: This is beautiful and honest and hopeful. And you make me think, as your writing always does, about some of the impacts I don't always think about in my own life or in my own mothering. THANK you!!! Please keep sharing. I started to highlight the lines I loved but there were too many. Cissy
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Re: Making the Good Stuff Louder: Trauma Dad, Bryon Hamel
thank you for trusting our community and sharing your story, Byron. And thank you Cissy for capturing his words! This quote really resonates for me. Through persistence we can break the cycle! . Just because a train can be put back on its rails doesn't mean damage is negated when it comes off of them. The truth is, this is a relentless fight. It is forever. The victory is in the persistence.
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Re: Making the Good Stuff Louder: Trauma Dad, Bryon Hamel
Gail: Isn't he AMAZING? So inspiring. I love learning from people parenting with ACEs and feel grateful for place and space to share experiences, perspectives and expertise. Cissy
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Re: The Problem with ACEs Implementation
Hi Joyelle, I've read your blog with interest, as my husband and I committed ourselves to the "Primary Prevention of ACES" on retirement in 2004. It didn't take long to discover how complex this is - so our 2nd commitment was to avoid further harm to parents and all the while recognizing deep and pervasive roots of ACES in homes, and public and private spheres of our culture. We still don't have answers. In the meantime, we've been visionary, and like a family wanting to build a new home,...
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Re: The Problem with ACEs Implementation
I recently attended "A Pair of ACES" workshop in Sacramento in which the universality of ACES, both personal and socially determined, was addressed as was the importance of organizing one's own community for action. As a Family Therapist, it is important to treat (or at least educate) the whole family including grandparents and other significant people in a child's life. That is why I am focusing on prevention during the Prenatal to Five stage of Child and Family development because...
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Re: The Problem with ACEs Implementation
Hi Gladys, Your work sounds fascinating, I would love to hear more about it! You can reach me at parentingwithptsd@gmail.com
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Re: The Problem with ACEs Implementation
Hi Barbara, I am so encouraged to here that the pair of ACEs framework is being used to identify the larger scale issues at play. Thanks for sharing!
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Re: The Problem with ACEs Implementation
Yes and Strategies 2.0 offers this workshop, in California, at no cost to organizations with an interest in prevention and there are many more plus consultations. Where are you located?
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Re: The Problem with ACEs Implementation
Gladys: Please share what you and you husband are doing towards to the Primary Prevention of ACEs! It's SO GOOD to hear you are also focusing on how not to further harm parents. Part of the reason so many of us trauma survivor parents have become advocates is because that can happen. Or, sometimes parents are treated as a total afterthought. Please share what you are doing, learning, creating! Cissy
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Re: Starting & Growing Resilient Communities: Series Overview [Video]
How can we sign up for the remainder of the webinars. I didn't get back an email after having registered a few weeks ago.
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Re: Starting & Growing Resilient Communities: Series Overview [Video]
Linda: Please let me know if this is still an issue for you. Also, if you save the invite to your calendar the Zoom link should be in there (that's where I found mine). Each webinar has to be signed up for individually so keep checking the ACEs Connection calendar and for the blog posts about the series. I'm sorry I missed your comment til today and hope you were able to get on the webinar that happened today. Please know all the webinars are archived so they are viewable even if you miss...
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Re: Poem - Not Quite a Blog..
Robin - This is so hauntingly beautiful. I have read it four times and am so moved by it. Though we have spoken several times, and at length, this glimpse into your life and being is almost more telling and connecting than our calls. Almost. Please keep sharing your poetry. For me this touches another place that needs some healing. I am sure I am not alone. Peace and thank you! c
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Re: When Your Child Is Your PTSD Trigger
Dawn: I'm do glad you shared this piece. It's so important!!! There's little for parents in all phases of parenting to deal with this even though it's predictable. Thanks for sharing and for all you do!!! Cissy
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Re: Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
Daniel Siegel book The Whole Brain Child is a much easier read. Our Circle of Parents groups in Minnesota have used it with much success. He now has a workbookey that goes along with it.
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Re: Introducing myself: Cissy White, parent with ACEs who’s parenting with ACEs (and who’s the Parenting with ACEs group's new group manager!)
Hi Cizsy, I am a survivor of child abuse also with a ACE Score of 7. I am now 63 yrs old and dealing with pains of a sandwich generation. I have two adult children five grandsons who I want to enjoy. All are healthy and whole I have been in self healing all of my life. Yet I am still care taking my mom and mentally ill brother. I am sure us baby boomers are going to be looking for help & support. Roxy Foster
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Re: Parenting’s Troubled History
Kristen: Thank you for posting this. It's so detailed and interested. I learned a lot. I just heard a discussion on NPR yesterday about how kids need empathy because of that Sesame Street segment teaching it. http://wfae.org/post/sesame-study-kindness One of the things they said is that many bullies have excellent manners and sometimes the emphasis on politeness is overdone because it doesn't necessarily equate with kindness. I thought that was interesting. I agree that the hate speech in...
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Re: Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
I like Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel Siegel and Childhood Disrupted by Donna Jackson Nakazawa . m
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Re: Paying Attention as the Most Exhausting Part of Parenting with ACEs
Hi Cissy, thanks for writing this, it's beautiful and so right on. My kid is now 10 but I remember all of those feelings you describe very well. It was dumb luck that I was able to find an attachment parenting mamas group when my son was 11 weeks old. That group really saved me. I couldn't conceive of self care, especially after I became a single mom when my son was 2. I neglected myself so badly after that that my back completely went out. I needed surgery that required a long recovery.
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Re: Parenting Triggered Healing form ACEs
Thank you for sharing your story, Fahad. You've been very courageous in your decisions, and your children lead healthier lives for those decisions. Many other people who have cut ties to their abusive families have expressed similar anguish about doing so, but are leading much happier, stress-free lives. Yesterday, I had the fortune to hear Elaine Miller-Karas at the Trauma Resource Institute . She has been doing great work with individuals who have suffered all types of trauma, from ACEs to...
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Re: Paying Attention as the Most Exhausting Part of Parenting with ACEs
Leah: Thanks for sharing. I've never thought of an attachment parenting mamas group as such a fabulous resource! I love this list for that! When I reflect, I did get a lot of support from others doing attachment parenting and there were great list servs as well which did help. It was great for research and general support and information but less so for meals and help. Local groups are a great option. And knowing other parents feel the strain! I wonder what other programs, informal and...
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Re: Personal and Parental Reflections on Adverse Childhood Experiences
excellent short video on ACES
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Re: In Posthumous Memoir "Playing Hurt", Sportscaster John Saunders Faces His Demons [wbur.org/hereandnow]
This is more from his own writing. It's at the end of the above piece. Book Excerpt: 'Playing Hurt' By John Saunders, with John U. Bacon My father’s death didn’t affect me the way I thought it might. I didn’t feel relief or sadness or even happiness. I felt nothing. Not numbness, but simply nothing at all. But in hindsight I might have been fooling myself, ignoring the pain his death really caused me. Our last chance to make things right had passed, forever, which might have affected me far...
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Re: Is ACEs Advocacy Worth Risking Professional Backlash?
Dawn: Thanks for posting. This is a great piece. I'm with you in knowing the risks are real with "coming out" as a survivor. There is impact us and some loss of privacy - even if it's voluntary and chosen. But it's not like we aren't impacted when we are silent or silenced. We are. It's just maybe in different ways. think it varies so much depending on our specific jobs, careers and the particular workplace and people we work with as well as And this varies so much depending on our specific...
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Re: Is ACEs Advocacy Worth Risking Professional Backlash?
Cis, being "googlable" effects everything now. Especially parenting. I often talk to my daughter (she's almost 8, my son is only 4) about the work I do helping people who have difficult lives. I make a point to not say mental illness but that's a whole other topic. What I find difficult is when I'm working at home on ACESs related advocacy work and she asks me what it is and why. It's tough to figure out how much detail and personal truths to answer her with.
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Re: If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
Dawn: This is a great question and will make the book even more useful. Are you looking for survivor-led or co-led, only, initiatives, or everything and anything? Cissy
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Re: TOOLKIT UPDATE
Dear Linda: That sounds like a fantastic tool/resource. Is it something parents can use on their own and/or in groups? Is it only or mainly for staff at shelters? I look forward to seeing the tool and learning more. Cissy
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Re: TOOLKIT UPDATE
Thank you for your interest, Cissy! While the toolkit is designed primarily to inform domestic violence staff at shelters, community partners and other service providers that are have contact with families experience domestic violence/ACEs, there is a lot of content in the toolkit that can be lifted and used with parents and groups. There are also links and references to resources specifically designed for caregivers and strategies that can be easily shared and taught such as tools for...
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Re: TOOLKIT UPDATE
Hi Linda: It sounds like a great tool and I can't wait to see it. Please share it here when it is ready and I'm sure other parents, like me, can provide feedback if you like on how user friendly it is for direct use, independent use or for parent groups. I'd love to know more about what those working in the shelters are wanting and needing as well. That's such an important perspective, what they need, in the job, and tools they feel are lacking to be able to offer. Please feel free to share...
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Re: TOOLKIT UPDATE
Thanks, Cissy, I appreciate the suggestion and will definitely do so and look forward to your feedback!
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Re: If You Provide Parent-Education/Counseling Services, I Want to Hear From You!!
I work with ParentingBeyondPunishment to provide parenting support for parents with ACEs. Here is a sample free webinar series we did to help parents with their own self regulation and their children. http://stopspanking.org/nip/resiliency/
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Re: Books to Support Parenting with ACEs?
I think there are a lot of resources that can help parents who are parenting with ACEs. Two books offering a lot of very practical support are both older classics-- How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Faber & Mazlish) and Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) by Thomas Gordon Both these books contain information and practical examples that can help parents become more resourced for responding constructively in moments or situations that are likely to be...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
HI Melissa: I know it's WAY late and I apologize for not seeing your question earlier! While I don't favor screening of parents I'm all for sharing surveys with parents. I don't favor screening til the medical, insurance, and screening places doing screenings have addressed race, gender, class, disability, homophobia and basically all kinds of bias since we know those most impacted most with most risks for ACE-associated issues are poor, female, LBGTQ, of color, and struggling with emotional...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Thank you for your reply, Cissy! I appreciate the perspective you shared. What we ended up doing at the first evening of the event was sending the parents home with a folder that had the ACEs and Resilience surveys, in addition to some other brief documents about Resilience, Serve and Return, etc. On the second evening, we did ask parents to reflect on their experience if they had done the survey at home. I especially like the point you made about acknowledging that often, we don't...
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Melissa: Thanks for the update. I think parent cafes and watching and then discussing movies is great. It's nice for someone to guide, lead and prompt with questions and make a comfy space. Once that happens, it seems parents (and everyone) is pretty eager to share. Did you feel like your event went well? It sounds like it! Cissy
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Re: ACES/Resilience Surveys w/Parents
Hi Cissy, Yes, we were pleased with the event! We had a snow day on the original day of Part 1 and rescheduled it for the evening of Part 2, and then shifted Part 2 to the following week. We ended up having only about 1/3 of the participants who had RSVP'd, but I think that was largely due to the rescheduling that had to happen. We're looking forward to making some changes and scheduling it earlier next year to hopefully avoid the snow
Blog Post
Screening for Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) in Primary Care [jamanetwork.com]
By Thomas L. Campbell, JAMA, May 28, 2020 Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), such as experiencing or witnessing violence or abuse or living with a parent with mental illness or substance use disorder, have been shown to have a powerful influence on subsequent mental and physical health and life expectancy. Exposure to ACEs has been linked to more than 40 negative health conditions, including poor mental health, substance use disorder, adverse health behaviors, chronic physical disease,...
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I learned the impact of prolonged exposure to stress from my foster child [washingtonpost.com]
By Jenn O'Connor, The Washington Post, June 6, 2020 You know what stress is, right? You’re late for work, your car won’t start, gas costs more than you expected. We’ve all been there, and it’s not pleasant, that palm-sweating, heart-racing anxiety. Luckily, it’s not long-lasting — not toxic. What is toxic stress? It’s prolonged adversity and/or abuse — not having enough to eat or being exposed to violence. It’s the kind of stress that puts you on edge and keeps you there, day after day after...
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Transforming Trauma Podcast: Post-Traumatic Growth in Communities of Color and NARM in the Classroom
Transforming Trauma Episode 015: Post-Traumatic Growth in Communities of Color and NARM in the Classroom with Giancarlo Simpson Transforming Trauma host Sarah Buino and guest Giancarlo A. Simpson, MS, reconnect in the wake of George Floyd’s death and the nationwide protests against racial violence and systemic oppression, providing real-time context to their previously-recorded conversation about NARM’s ability to address complex trauma and support post-traumatic growth in communities of...
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Opinion: We Need a Safety Net for Children Experiencing Toxic Stress [calhealthreport.org]
By Jim Hickman, California Health Report, June 8, 2020 We need to invest in the safety-net institutions that serve and support our most vulnerable now and during times of crisis. COVID-19 is decimating our fragile, unfunded and outdated safety net, and the vital links between families and their local economic, health and social supports. The pandemic has made “underlying conditions” the new code phrase for the social and health inequities disproportionately impacting black and brown...
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Transforming Trauma Podcast: Strange Situation - A Journey into Understanding Attachment, Motherhood and Developmental Trauma
Transforming Trauma Episode 016: Strange Situation: A Journey into Understanding Attachment, Motherhood and Developmental Trauma with Bethany Saltman In this episode of Transforming Trauma, author Bethany Saltman shares the lessons she learned while writing Strange Situation: A Mother’s Journey Into The Science Of Attachment . Bethany and host Sarah Buino explore the different roles that curiosity, delight, anxiety, shame, and acceptance play when looking at parent-child attachment, and...
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Community Resilience Series Part 1: Parenting in an Age of Uncertainty [Peace & Justice Institute at Valencia College]
The Peace and Justice Institute (PJI) at Valencia College is excited to offer 3 free, online workshops with Dr. Ken Ginsburg , as part of a Community Resilience Series. The first workshop in this FREE series will be specifically for parents: Parenting in an Age of Uncertainty , July 7th from 5:30 - 7:00 pm EST (zoom). REGISTER HERE “As parents, we want to protect our children from witnessing the fear and uncertainty brought by the COVID-19 pandemic. We wish we could take away the disruption...