Hi everyone!
I've made a blog (not yet launched) called A Resilient Parent (aresilientparent.com). I have a few goals in mind for this blog.
First i want to help parents with ACEs heal, so they can thrive themselves. I also believe that whereas the focus is so strongly on this generations kids (for good reason, of course), I feel that outside help can be most effective when the parents are healing as well. Our children look up to their parents/guardians most of all! And it's not to late for the parents who have been damaged by ACEs! Which takes me to my second goal...
Second, parents who struggle with parenting and have unintentionally exposed their children to trauma, my goal is to introduce a trauma-informed perception to parenting and helping them break the chain of ACEs. After all, how are we supposed to raise our children differently if we are not first introduced something different and willing to learn! We do the best we can with what we know, right?
And lastly, restorative parenting! I want to help parents restore their relationship with their children.
All the mean while, of course, educating about ACEs and toxic stress and the effects, and educating about buiding AND SUSTAINING resiliency!
A little about myself and my personal journey; I am an addict, one of the few who couldnt stop until the system took my children away. I believe trauma is the reason for addicts who can't stop without help, and the steps in Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous I feel truly help because the steps focus on healing from trauma and working on the self. The steps also encourage honesty, humility, commitments, relationships, etc.
I fought through hoops of fire to get my kiddos home and have changed so much about my parenting and taking care of myself. I plan to develop a program called trauma-informed parenting perception.
I went through a very rough childhood. My score is a rough 9/10 (unless physical abuse with no mark is ever a point, then my score becomes 10). While I went through a lot, my mother (who chose drugs and abusive men over her children) still showed massive amiunts of live. And my father, who was a drug dealer, showed me protection and would fight for me to the ends of this earth. I believe these little things helped me become very resilient and form a perception on life and parenting which is unique and worth sharing and teaching!
There was also a teacher in my life in second grade who meant alot to me. But when I moved from Napa in second grade and came back, she was gone. I hope some day to find her. Her name I believe was Mrs. Kime? I just remember calling her Mrs. Kind.
Very recently, I ended my relationship with my fiance because I know I cannot be successful in mending my relationship with my kids if my partner chooses not to change his ways and his core beliefs about parenting (as he believes in demanding respect and spanking, and I believe reapect is too personal to demand and also believe spanking is not effective for a numner of reasons, not to mention it damages relationships.
What i have done to mend my relationship with my 9 year old this far, since coming back home December of last year, has shown to be so amazing! And I want other parents to experience what I have accomplished!
I'm strategizing now and would love any opinions! What would you like to read that might help you heal? Mend your relationship with your children or anyone else for that matter?
Would anyone appreciate supportive blog posts about getting through CPS? As I would love to support parents who are going through this, as well.
Any feedback, support, opinions, resources are much appreciated!
Thank you!
Anyone is welcome to email me!
akaciasmith1990@gmail.com
Akacia Smith
P.s. I may copy and paste this elsewhere for added support!