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Hi PACEs Connection community.


TW: trauma talk with names of the type of trauma and discussion of that trauma. This discussion might not be for you today.

Last night I watched all 10 parts of the Turpin sisters on 20/20 with Diane Sawyer (each part is 10 mins or less). These can be accessed on Youtube and ABC's network website.

The 13 Turpin children and adults were found chained inside their house in 2018 in Perris, CA in Riverside County, shocking the nation and the world. Some were as old as their late 20s but looked like children still. All were emaciated and unbathed.

I hate that these sisters had to find resilience in this circumstance but I couldn't help but be in awe of them as they were interviewed by Diane Sawyer. They seemed remarkably like the fictional character Kimmy Schmidt, which was writer and producer Tina Fey's comedian project to help her try and process what would happen to a person once they escaped lifelong captivity. So I commend Tina Fey for the depth and accuracy of her research! The sisters are full of optimism, life, and a delightful naivete that lacks socially programmed fear of being their full, authentic selves.

Of course, as a child trauma obsessed person, I had to dig around on the internet for hours as to the childhood trauma of the parents who could do this to their children.

The mother, Louise Turpin, was a child bride to the father, marrying him when she was 16 and he was 24. She did this to escape a devastatingly abusive home in West Virginia where she suffered repeated sexual attacks at the hands of her grandfather. She is much older than and looks nothing like her two younger sisters so I worry that her grandfather is also her father. (Also the story for the most notorious American serial killer, Ted Bundy!)

This kind of depravity is so hard to comprehend! And yet, if you're reading this, chances are that you are in this work because you want to help solve this kind of depravity.

I can't help but fixate on the childhood photos of Louise. She and her mother look like walking skeletons! I'm not sure that holding a mirror up to their mouths would produce steam!

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I'm currently reading The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner, published in 1986 and providing a historical account of our earliest Western civilizations. As soon as we have record, in looking at ancient Mesopotamia and Babylon, it appears that men were commodifying and enslaving women and children. The first structure and division by class was the distinction of where women fell as a commodity owned by men. Marriage was a monetary transaction and women were either 1st wives, concubines (2nd or 3rd wives), or slavesβ€”all bought and sold. (Women then internalized the misogyny to protect their precarious class--something we still see today, for example when wealthy white women voted for the new elected Republican governor of VA.)

Louise's sister explains in a memoir about their childhood that their grandfather would pay their mother money in order to have sexual time with them. This both horrifies me and also feels like...wow, it's been this way since the dawn of civilization!

I can't help but think, "what was the original trauma?" when it comes to the Turpin family. It seems like, based on the historical records, that the original trauma is simple existing as humans. Animals surely exist to kill or be killed but only humans torture each other. (For those that watched the Netflix show The Good Place, maybe we ARE in The Bad Place!)

I appreciate the work we are all doing but I can't help it if it feels sometimes like we're not moving the needle at all in alleviating the suffering of the human condition.

In the ABC special about the Turpin kids, they relay that the police got the children out of the frying pan and into the fire. The foster parents that the 5 youngest were placed with immediately started physically, emotionally, and sexually abusing them.

Anyway. Open to hearing any/all viewpoints, discussion topics, insights, challenges, or thoughts! This story really represents the worst of the worst of humanity so I know it's not typicalβ€”I suppose that's why it's so captivating.

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Wow, Alison. I saw the article that there was a series, but haven't watched it yet. I'll have time later this year, and early next, for sure.

Thanks for the overview, and for the history about Louise Turpin and the book Creation of Patriarchy, which I want to read.

I think we're still in the process of opening the door to this knowledge. Damon Centola, author of Change: How to Make Big Things Happen, noted that it took 100 years for Copernicus' knowledge that the Sun doesn't revolve around the Earth to take hold. That was because not only did the people who believed in an Earth-centric universe had to die off, but their institutions/systems that supported that approach did, too. In the same vein, it took 50 years for plate tectonics to be accepted.

PACEs science is an even harder understanding to integrate into all our organizations and systems, but its promise is that it can change the human species to be kinder and to further develop our brains so that we can grapple with climate change and pandemics without killing each other.

@Jane Stevens Okay I'm going to see if the Change book is on Audible! I'm in!

Child abuse is at least 3,000 years old. Why could people be convinced to change their ideas about the Earth and the Sun but can't stop abusing children???

I liked Steven Pinker's book The Better Angels of Our Nature which gave a history of why violence is decreasing over time. But I don't know if I trust him fully. He says it was a mere coincidence that he was in a photo with Jeff Epstein so I can't hold that too much against him. I'm more pissed about his backing of a new libertarian university that's being created in Austin. https://www.politico.com/news/...ture-politics-522800

Hmmm. These stories fascinate me as well. I want to know about the original trauma, too. What made the grandfather think such a practice was okay?  Someone must have abused him or children in his extended family when he was a child. That β€œenergy” of sexual desire for children was likely planted in him early on. Did any of the history of this particular family go back that far? Though we know, as Alison points out, the history of humans shows that abuse and β€œpower over” women and children has gone on for forever.  

Change seems to me to be something that could happen so much more quickly now with social media available at every turn, with people and ideas literally becoming famous and followed by millions in a matter of days. Why not PACEs Science? Why would it take 100 years? Do we have to wait for all the old white male politicians to die for people to see that supporting mothers with infants pays off?  Why doesn’t preventing ACEs get as much press as preventing abuse of dogs? Or does it? Why isn’t promoting positive childhood experiences as popular a practice as putting an β€œelf on the shelf”? Why don’t we have 5.5 million members  instead of almost 55 thousand?
How do we make prevention of childhood trauma an irresistible 24/7 mission  for everyone who cares about children?  How do we make acceptable the idea of living in peaceful communities where everyone has a voice? Where children being upset or violent is seen as a symptom to be checked on instead of a behavior to be punished?
How do we get policymakers to see the sunk cost of perpetuating paddling kids in school, expelling or suspending students who are desperate for connection, rewarding educators and law enforcement professionals who seek to control rather than to inspire cooperation and connection?

@Carey Sipp  Child abuse has a long, long legacy so addressing the question of "where did the grandfather learn it," I know that answer is complex but it's interesting to not pederasty in ancient Greece. "Pederasty in ancient Greece was a socially acknowledged romantic relationship between an older male (the erastes) and a younger male (the eromenos) usually in his teens.[2] It was characteristic of the Archaic and Classical periods.[3] The influence of pederasty on Greek culture of these periods was so pervasive that it has been called "the principal cultural model for free relationships between citizens."[4]"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...ty_in_ancient_Greece

Although I dislike the usage of the word "relationship here" and especially "free relationships," as there was an abusive dynamic of the older person over the younger person, even if teens weren't considered children during the times of the Ancient Greeks. We know that teens do not have the necessary power to consent.

@Jane Stevens I read Change this weekend. I would be curious to hear what you got out of it. It feels like a rehash of ideas in a lot of social psychology books, especially Persuasion by Robert Cialdini. Emotional contagion exists, yes, people need to trust their contacts, yes, people get embarrassed by health conditions, yes, networks and the spread of ideas is are complex, yes. A new idea that I got from it is that people need a certain concentration in their social networks, so those who are well-connected need to see an idea more times than those with fewer connections--which is counterintuitive. That was interesting. I thought his examples were kinda rambly and didn't always support his points. Like when he was talking about the Arab Spring he was saying that people had to see that the people in their networks were showing up before they decided to show up for protests. But someone would first have to decide they were going to show up, right? So how do those early adopters decide? I didn't think his point was proved with this example. I wasn't sure what he was trying to say. I'd be much more likely to believe that there was some sort of critical mass of suffering reached and would have been curious to learn more about that. With Google Glass he made a point about techies not feeling relatable to most people but I think the reason that product didn't take off is because it's not a useful product. I've tried on Google Glass and the product barely works. I didn't see the point. Anyway, curious to hear the points that resonated with you in his book!

@Jane Stevens I've reflected a little more--I think I didn't enjoy the author's overuse of storytelling that didn't always support his points BUT I do think on a macro level, the book does a great job of explaining the dire importance of social networks and grassroots efforts to create real, lasting change. I do think our society puts too much importance on big influencers, as the author notes. So, okay. It's sinking in the importance of this work.

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