If you are looking to make someone — even yourself — feel better during what has been a hard winter of the pandemic, consider writing a gratitude letter. You can think of it as a slightly longer and more meaningful thank you note, but instead of offering thanks for a physical gift, you are offering thanks for something that was done or said.
There are two excellent reasons for writing a gratitude letter: It will make you feel really good, and it will make the recipient feel great. Among the research showing the benefits of letter writing is a study led by Indiana University and published in 2016 in the journal Psychotherapy Research and led by Indiana University, which tested whether gratitude writing helps people seeking psychotherapy. Scientists randomly assigned the 293 participants to three groups: Those receiving psychotherapy, those receiving psychotherapy and participating in expressive writing, or those receiving psychotherapy and participating in gratitude-letter writing. Even in the small study, participants in the gratitude group reported significantly better mental health than the other two groups, even three months after the trial ended.
The main barrier to expressing gratitude in a sentimental letter, he said, is the perceived awkwardness. “Part of the reason we did this research — the hope, at least — is that we will encourage people to do this more often,” Mr. Kumar said. “If you know from empirical research that it’s not actually as awkward as you think, and that it will mean a great deal to the person, maybe that can help you get over that hurdle.”
Nancy Davis Kho, who in 2019 published “The Thank-You Project,” a book about her year writing 50 gratitude letters, offers this exercise: “Quickly, think of the five people you want to hug first after quarantine.” Then write their names down, she said, because “even carrying around that list is a reminder that you are not by yourself.”
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