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Trauma-Responsive New Zealand

I have PTSD - That does not mean I can't be a good parent

 

A message to

NZ CYFS social workers, Family Court judges, lawyers, teachers, police

Through my work as an advocate, I have met many people who, like me, have PTSD.

I have PTSD because people made the choice to hurt me so bad that I now live with that every day. I live with trauma.

The thing is I survived. I made the decision to pick myself up, to stand again, reset and keep moving forward.

I now face many, many people including professionals who believe, erroneously, that I am my trauma.

I am not my trauma



This is especially true in NZ because, in my country that I love so much, far too many professionals who say they are there to help me are not trauma-responsive.

They treat me like I am broken and I have a mental health problem ~ a nutcase



They tell me I can't do what I can do

They tell me I am not a good parent and I can't become a good parent

They put ceilings on me

They put me in a cage and throw away the key

They underestimate me

And when I fall, they tell me "I told you so"

Yet, I get back up and they refuse to see my strength, my courage, my resilience.

Professionals in NZ especially CYFS social workers and lawyers and police and teachers



When you repeatedly tell me I am a nutcase

In my hour of need, I start to believe that

You know not what you do

Because you are not trauma-responsive

You are judge and jury

You take away my children

You break me

And then you break my children

You know not what you do

You have no excuse

Become trauma-responsive

And stop the cycle

I speak from lived experience

My lived experience and the lived experience of many survivors

Who I advocate for

Just like me

They repeatedly face your judgment

Fall down

Cry tears of humiliation

Get back up

Reset

And face the day again

Acknowledge that we are survivors

Acknowledge our strength

Acknowledge our courage

Acknowledge our resilience

Acknowledge we can do

Acknowledge we can be good parents

And STOP underestimating us

And STOP tearing our children from us

You caused the harm so you have the responsibility

To support us to heal and work WITH us

That is how you heal our people and our country

That is how you unite our people and our country

NZ must become trauma-responsive

Whakarongo mai whānau!

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