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Pediatrician is changing the way we think about teens with 'lighthouse parenting' tips (upworthy.com)

 
Photo by Josh Hild on Unsplash  'Lighthouse parenting' can help make raising teens less rocky.
To read more of Christine Organ's article, please click here.
Dr. Ken Ginsburg’s advice for parents is like a hug, TED talk and Masterclass rolled into one.
As a parent of teens, I often wonder: Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this? I don’t mean the warnings and complaints about how challenging the teen years are. I don’t mean all of the “just you wait” admonitions. I don’t mean the cliches and memes. What I want to know is why no one told me how awesome raising teens can be.

A pediatrician specializing in adolescent medicine, a professor of pediatrics at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine, and co-founder and director of programs at the Center for Parent and Teen Communication, Dr. Ginsburg has focused his career on changing how we think about, treat and raise teenagers.

“Parents,” Dr. Ginsburg advises, “you should be like a lighthouse for your child—a stable force on the shoreline from which they should measure themselves against. You should look down at the rocks and make sure they don’t crash against them. Look into the waves and trust that they will learn to ride them, and it’s your job to prepare them to do so.”

Unlike other talked-about parenting styles, like helicopter parenting and free-range parenting, lighthouse parenting—or balanced parenting—is grounded in science. Decades of research shows that not only does lighthouse parenting yield better academic, social, mental/emotional health and behavior outcomes, but (perhaps most importantly) it also leads to better relationships between parents and their children.

Ginsburg explains it like this: Waves are challenges that you can ride through with the right skill sets, but rocks are dangers you might not survive no matter how prepared you are. Didn’t study for an important test? A wave. Getting in the car with a driver who has been drinking? A rock, definitely a rock.

“The most protective thing in a young person’s life is to be known, seen, and valued just as you are, with all of your strengths and all of your limitations,” he told Upworthy. “When you know that the person who knows you the most, knows your character strengths and those areas in need of improvement—and that person continues to adore you, that gives you strength to launch into adulthood truly secure in who you are. That’s what gives you the strength to navigate the waves of adolescence when other people are challenging who you are.”

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