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Parenting with PACEs. PACEs science & stories. Trauma-informed change.

Parenting Alone, and Bearing ‘the Weight of Everything’ [nytimes.com]

 

By Callie Holtermann, Photo by Christopher Gregory-Rivera, The New York Times, October 27, 2022

Relief agencies can help single fathers and mothers maintain the delicate balance between wage-generating hours, personal upkeep and family caregiving time.

Someday, Ramiro Torres dreams of opening his own restaurant and serving the tortas, tacos and hamburgers that he loves to prepare to the public. At least one qualified critic, his 11-year-old daughter, Yanely, has long been sold on his cooking.

“She loves it,” Mr. Torres said, through a Spanish interpreter. His spaghetti with tomato sauce is a big hit. His beans and eggs, not so much, he admitted.

Mr. Torres, 45, has been a single father to Yanely since she was 4, he said. He appreciates the ordinary times they have spent together through the years, he said, just chatting, watching TV or strolling around their Mott Haven neighborhood in the South Bronx.



Before the pandemic, Mr. Torres held a night job cleaning and washing dishes at a bar, which paid him between $1,200 and $1,400 a month and left him available to care for Yanely during the day.

The situation had been “difficult, but not impossible,” he said.

But for Mr. Torres and many other single parents, the pandemic disrupted an already delicate balance they must strike between wage-generating hours, personal maintenance and caregiving time with family.

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