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A Different Way to Respond When Kids Do Something Wrong [greatergood.berkeley.edu]

 

By Joanne Chen, Greater Good Magazine, August 23, 2021

In January 1995, Tariq Khamisa was 20 years old. Tony Hicks was 14. Khamisa, a college student, was working his shift delivering pizza the night Hicks’s gang tried to rob him. According to The San Diego Union-Tribune, when the gang leader handed Hicks a gun and told him to shoot, he did. Khamisa died. Hicks was tried as an adult and ultimately received a sentence of 25 years to life in prison.

Justice seemed to have prevailed—a severe punishment for a horrendous crime—but in reality, it still wasn’t enough to fill the emptiness felt by each of the families. Tariq’s father, Azim Khamisa, asked to meet Ples Felix, Hicks’s grandfather and guardian. When they met, Felix vowed to do anything he could to help the family. Incredibly, Azim Khamisa went on to forgive Hicks, whom he eventually visited in prison in 2000. Explaining that he “saw tragedy on both sides of the gun that day,” he launched the Tariq Khamisa Foundation (TKF), and a month later, asked Felix to join him.

Since November 1995, the two have been sharing their story, determined to stop the cycle of youth violence and inspire a spirit of compassion and peace building. Their educational organization, based in San Diego County, has worked to establish restorative practices—a framework for strengthening social connections—in communities. With restorative practices, schools and parents manage behavioral issues through principles of accountability, compassion, forgiveness, and peacemaking, as opposed to punishment for punishment’s sake.

[Please click here to read more.]

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