“What if I was made for evil?” These are the words of a 15-year-old African American male that I will never forget. He was in an alternative to incarceration program. As a social worker, in my usual capacity of trying to encourage and uplift this young man, I told him that he was made for good and he countered with the aforementioned question. He said, ‘If someone was made for good, then someone had to be made for evil.’ He asked, what if that was him? It stopped me in the middle of my speech. I must admit that I was stunned. I did not know how to respond other than to counteract with more positive language and encouragement. Over twenty years later that conversation remains with me. It was not a conversation of about evolution or creation. I know now that he was trying to tell me how he felt or at least his perception of himself, even at such a young age.
As a young man from a low socio-economic background, being raised by relatives other than his parents due to their own struggles, he found himself getting involved in activities that led to interaction with the juvenile justice system. I recently read an article called Healing the Wounds of Racial Trauma by Kenneth V. Hardy, PhD, a professor at Drexel University in Philadelphia, and director of the Eikenberg Institute for Relationships in New York City. As the article discussed the invisible wounds of trauma experienced by many persons of color, I was reminded of this young man. Within the article Dr. Hardy raised awareness of the invisible wounds, such as internalized devaluation, assaulted sense of self and internalized voicelessness, that are experienced by many people of color due to racial trauma.
Though Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are prevalent in general populations of society, there are significant disparities within certain groups, which makes sense as there are huge disparities in socio economics, home ownership, incarceration and involvement in the child welfare system. Many factors can contribute but historical, systematic racism, has disproportionately impacted individuals and communities of color and other marginalized groups. While many times the trauma of racial oppression may not have physical or outward signs visible to all, the toxic stress of lived and generational racism, including microaggressions, adverse child experiences and adverse community experiences take their toll on the minds, bodies and spirits of people who experience them.
Although full of strengths and talents, this young man’s behaviors were showing, and his questions were telling me, that he was wounded. He was not incorrigible, bad or broken, but hurting. He needed to be seen and heard. If I could go back to that moment, I would talk less and listen more. I would employ motivational interviewing skills of OARS (Open questions, Affirmation, Reflective listening and Summaries) to better understand his perspective. I would also do as Dr. Hardy suggests: acknowledge his initial question, create space for hard conversations regarding his experiences and help him name his feelings. I would try to help him externalize that devaluation of himself as evil and encourage him to re-channel rage away from himself. Instead of trying to change his perspective, I would validate his feelings. We encourage resilience by building on the existing strengths to counter against the constant assault of self and to rebuild a sense of power and self-esteem.
What happened to the young man you may wonder? He did not complete the program and we lost contact. However, after twenty years, I received a random phone call. After much effort to locate me, he called to tell me he understood what I was trying to tell him so long ago. He is engaged to be married, a father and a restaurant business owner. He wanted me to know he is doing well, and he needed to find me to say thank you.
Although I now have more training and knowledge on trauma and resilience than I did then, I knew to be present and persistent in my commitment to this young man. Please be encouraged that even when you do not know the exact things to say or do when dealing with trauma, actively listening and consistently being present are powerful tools for healing. Being aware of racial trauma and Adverse Childhood Experiences, building support and resources to promote Positive Childhood Experiences, and using motivational interviewing to develop empathy and build confidence for change are ways to promote healing and growth in ourselves, others and our communities.
Tia Sanders, LCSW
Project Manager, NJ DCF Office of Resilience
Reference:
Hardy, K. V. (2013) Healing the Hidden Wounds of Racial Trauma, Reclaiming Children and Youth www.reclaimingjournal.com, Spring 2013 Volume 22,number 1 pgs 24-28
Positive and Adverse Childhood Experiences (PACEs) Data Report: California Health Interview Survey (CHIS), 2021, Published April 2024 CHIS REPORT DRAFT (pacesconnection.com)
Homelessness Resource Center (HRC), Motivational Interviewing: Open Questions, Affirmation, Reflective Listening, and Summary Reflections (OARS) | The Homeless Hub, Adapted from handouts by David Rosengren and from Miller & Rollnick, Motivational Interviewing, 2nd Edition, 2002 https://www.homelesshub.ca/res...istening-and-summary
Miller, W.R. and Rollnick. (2023), Motivational Interviewing Helping People Change and Grow, Fourth Edition
SAMHSA Advisory Using Motivational Interviewing in substance use disorder treatment USING MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWING IN - Advisory 35 (samhsa.gov)
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