Aedy Miller & Josh Friedman | Cherry Hill Courier-Post
With South Jersey students back in school — some for the first appreciable time in 18 months due to the pandemic — educators are once again seeing the effects of a different public health emergency: the ongoing mental health crisis.
Before the COVID-19 pandemic, rates of mental health issues — such as anxiety, depression, suicidality and substance use — had already been getting worse.
Between 2009 and 2019, overdose deaths increased from about 38,000 to more than 70,000, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Over the same period, the number of high school students experiencing persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness rose by 40%, per the CDC. Serious consideration of attempting suicide increased by 36% and attempts increased by 44% for the same age group during the same time.
Suicide has been the second leading cause of death for ages 10 to 24 since 2010, according to the CDC. It's been in the top 10 leading causes of death for all age groups since 2008.
InNew Jersey, about one in ten teens suffered a major depressive episode and about one in six adults experienced a mental illness between 2017 and 2018, according to Mental Health America.
But those numbers have likely gotten worse since the start of the pandemic, experts suggest. Nearly a third of parents said their children’s emotional wellbeing was worse than before the pandemic, according to an October 2020 study by the Jed Foundation and Fluent Research. As of January 2021, 40% of adults reported symptoms of anxiety and depression, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
Across the board, these rates were even higher for historically marginalized groups, such as people of color, LGBTQ+ people, disabled people and low-income communities.
(omitted large section of very long article; I have skipped ahead to parts which include Dave Ellis).
For the whole article:
How to spot a kid who is struggling
Establishing the normal range of behaviors for a child is a first step toward recognizing when they might be struggling, said Ellis.
Then ask yourself if the child is behaving very differently from what you expect.
“It may be that you've got a kid who's very outgoing and all of a sudden they want to stay at home, close to mom and dad,” said Ellis. “Or you've got a kid who is very quiet, who all of a sudden wants to be the center of attention. You may have a kid who resorts to bullying because they want attention, and that's not normal behavior.”
For young children, anxiety can manifest as new and seemingly irrational fears, according to Alisha De Lorenzo, a mental health and education consultant with a practice in Red Bank. Fears of going outside, getting separated from parents, even clouds and changes in the weather, are all examples of how young children externalize anxiety, said De Lorenzo, who is also a community advisory board member of the NJ ACEs Collaborative.
Other behaviors to look for include negative self-talk and self-esteem and disengagement from friends and family, said Ieva.
How to help a kid who is struggling
“The data will tell you that two of out three kids have at least one ACE in their background,” said Ellis. “But what we know for sure, is that three out of three adults can help.”
Ellis gave three pieces of advice for helping a child struggling with their mental health: form a connection, share a conversation and, most importantly, slow down.
“Take a deep breath,” he said. “I’ve learned that controlling my breathing, and teaching kids how to control their breathing is just a simple thing you can do.”
He gave the example of a jar filled with water and glitter; a craft he shares with the kids he works with. When someone is angry or riled up, their brain is like a shaken-up glitter jar, he said. They can’t see clearly until the glitter — or their emotions — settle down.
De Lorenzo said part of slowing down is shifting away from asking “what’s wrong with this kid?” Instead, parents, families and community members should ask, “what’s good about this kid? What are their strengths? What are their core gifts?”
Sharing conversations with kids is another way to help, according to Ellis.
“I like to just listen,” he said. “I want them to share stories.”
“I can tell them about who I am, what it was like growing up — the invitation then is for them to do the same, and that’s exceptionally helpful,” he said.
He also stressed the importance of having these conversations when everyone involved is in the right headspace to do so. Like a traffic light at an intersection, safe interactions can only happen when everyone understands where others are coming from.
“When we’re in the green zone, we can have a conversation right now about whatever it is,” said Ellis. “When we’re in the yellow, we may have to wait a while for people to diffuse.
“In the red zone, we may have to wait all day, we may have to wait till next week,” he said.
The last way parents, families and community members can help — sharing a connection — is often the easiest. Sometimes a high-five is all a kid needs, said Ellis.
“These are things that are not rocket science,” he said. “It doesn’t have to be a therapy session.”
How can I help myself?
“Children do not exist outside of the context of family,” said Ellis. “So everything we talk about is not just impacting that young person, it's also impacting family.”
“And since the family doesn't exist outside of the context of community, it gets impacted too,” he said.
The best way for adults to help the young people in their lives is to work on themselves first, said De Lorenzo.
“Our responsibility as adults is to be competent in our own regulation of our emotions, in managing our emotions and addressing our traumas, and showing up for young people with some space to hold their big emotions,” said De Lorenzo. “If we’re unable to do that as adults, number one, we’re not modeling for them how to do it.”
Just as the ACEs of the pandemic will likely impact young people for the rest of their lives, so too will the way parents, families and community members react to it.
“Young people are watching how we’re responding to this crisis,” said De Lorenzo. “And they’re learning how to deal with crisis in their own lives.”
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