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The Mandalorian as a child trauma and attachment parable

 

My partner and I have had a joke for the past year about "wanting to watch that Star Wars show with the cute little Yoda." We didn't know the plot or theme of the show...we didn't even know the name of the show. We'd seen "the little Yoda" character in memes online and hoped that he'd be featured in some amount in the show.

A few months ago we got a step closer when a friend gave us her Disney+ login details. We opted to watch the Pixar film Inside Out, about childhood emotional health and resilience, first. We highly recommend it! (Fun fact: this film was made in partnership with psychology consultant Dacher Keltner, founder of The Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, from whom we love re-posting articles, especially on raising resilient children.) We forgot about the show with "the little Yoda" until a couple of weeks ago when we read an article in The New York Times announcing Emmy nominated shows. "Ahh, 'the little Yoda' show is called The Mandalorian!" we discovered, coming one step closer to realizing our dream, "And it's apparently good enough to potentially win an Emmy!"

**The following contains spoilers for The Mandalorian**

We were delighted to discover, upon watching the first few episodes of Season 1 of The Mandalorian, that "the little Yoda," or The Child, as he's called in the show, was a central part of the plot. A warrior, The Mandalorian, finds The Child, and is called to make some critical moral choices. The little Yoda is so incredibly, unbelievably cute, and the show is so visually enchanting, that we binged both seasons in about 3 weeks. I'm now experiencing post-show-binge grief.

Given my work here at PACEs Connection, I, of course, viewed the series through a trauma-informed and PACEs science-based lens. Some themes:

Abandoning vs caring for The Child

We learn in the first few episodes that The Mandalorian is a bounty hunter and a highly skilled fighter. We see him retrieve wanted supposed criminals and receive money in return. By Episode 3 his work takes him to retrieve a small, helpless creature, the "cute little Yoda," who is 50 years of age but still has the mannerisms and abilities of a toddler, and who is unable to speak except for some very cute babbling. Upon delivering The Child to those who hired him, The Mandalorian feels some unease about this ethical dilemma: he's just doing his job as a bounty hunter. He retrieved the bounty and got paid. But he didn't like who took the child. His intuition sensed child abuse. Now he has to decide—should he leave the situation as is, or should he return and fight for The Child?

In the child abuse prevention world that we live in, we are often outraged at all the systems that fail children. "Why didn't someone intervene?!" we find ourselves shouting in our minds, incredulously. In the case of the adopted kids who were killed by their adopted moms in 2019, we find ourselves wondering why so many agencies failed to protect these children, even though agencies were called several times. We wonder why the kids were taken from their families at all.

In Star Wars, there aren't systems but chaos. In The Mandalorian, which chronologically occurs directly after episodes 4, 5, and 6 that are the classic episodes from the 1970s, the evil Imperial government has been destroyed by the Jedis. In the time after, a new ruling government hasn't been totally established yet and it's an "every person for themselves" society with a lot of violence, despots, kidnappings, cowboy style shootouts, and the like. It's up to the individual to save the day and thus The Mandalorian has to decide if he personally will shoot all the guards and get the baby back. Social services ain't lookin' out for anyone. There's no child welfare agency to call.

It's comforting to watch this individual choose to do the right thing and protect The Child, and we can gain inner strength upon which to call in moments when we must be called, but still, in the very real society that we live in, what should we do when we suspect a child may be being abused or neglected?

The "evil" characters are the ones who objectify The Child

The show very clearly defines the evilest characters as those who seek to use The Child, who has magical Jedi powers, as an object to gain power. Parallels in the show to the Nazi's experimentation on human subjects are made.

In real life, we know that child abuse is the root of all evil and yet we often fall short in our society to create systems that protect. In the United States, policies have been favoring wealth creation and hoarding for an elite few at the top for the past 50 years, rather than protecting families and children. The result is a society with high rates of mental illness, substance misuse, and deaths of despair—the kinds of intractable problems we're trying to solve here at PACEs Connection. The Mandalorian series is showing us that what our society is doing by choosing wealth over families isn't benign—it's pure evil.

Healthy attachment through earned trust and provided safety

Later in Season 2, The Mandalorian is able to find another Jedi to help him figure out how to care for The Child, who we learn is named Grogu and is the same species as Yoda from the 70s films. She notices that Grogu has a strong attachment to The Mandalorian. The Mandalorian has dedicated his life to protecting Grogu from threats and attempting kidnappings. Grogu feels this protection and gives love and trust to his caregiver as a result.

For children, protection is love. There's a moment in Season 1 before The Mandalorian goes back to save The Child from the evil ones, where he calls The Child his enemy, because he had been paid to collect The Child. In a dysfunctional family with a high number of adverse childhood experiences and high levels of stress, parents often treat their children like "the enemy". In the book Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, where they discuss how the secure or insecure attachment we learned from our primary caregivers in childhood creates the type of attachment we're able to have with a significant other in adulthood, they discuss a concept called "enemy vs royalty". If we grow up feeling as though we're a burden to our parents—they resent us or feel exasperated by our presence, then we tend to treat our partners and lovers as enemies. We perceive that they are out to harm us and we need to protect ourselves. If, however, our parents basked in the glow of their task as caregivers, showing us with loving nurturance, warm coos, and gratitude, we will tend to treat our partners as royalty—we trust them, and therefore feel safe enough to shower them with loving affection.

Thus it was interesting to hear The Mandalorian first refer to this helpless child as an enemy and was perhaps a reflection of his warrior upbringing. The Mandalorian tribe in the Star Wars series are considered "neutral warriors," but as moral philosophers tell us, neutrality is often siding with evil. "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor," South African social justice activist and spiritual leader Desmond Tutu said. The Mandalorian character chooses love over fear, thus breaking his neutrality, and perhaps redeeming his entire tribe, as we may see in the forthcoming Season 3.

The Child seeking approval and permission from their primary attachment figure before venturing out

At the end, when The Child must decide whether to stay with The Mandalorian, or go with the Jedi for training, he looks first to The Mandalorian to see if it's safe.

We know from our work in the field of positive child attachment that children first look to their caregivers to know whether to trust people and places. Without a safe home life and safe caregivers, children may end up trusting the wrong people and grow up into adults who continually find themselves in abusive relationships.

The importance of authentically connecting with children

One of the most powerful scenes is in Season 2 when The Mandalorian finds a Jedi to help. She's not able to connect with Grogu's force the way The Mandalorian is, as Grogu's primary caretaker. She tells The Mandalorian, who doesn't have the same mystical powers to move objects with his mind, as the Jedi's do, to play with Grogu to test his powers. Grogu can't do it at first and the Jedi woman tells The Mandalorian that he has to authentically connect with Grogu. The Mandalorian turns inward, tapping into his heart center. He gets present. We can feel his love for The Child in this moment. Grogu feels it too and then is able to move the ball with The Force.

Children need their caregivers' full presence and attention. They are more powerful and more receptive to learning and playing when they feel that their caregiver loves them and cares about them. This love has to feel strong—it can't just be said out loud. When The Mandalorian gives Grogu his full attention and presence, that's when Grogu has more power. A beautiful lesson for parents and caregivers.

Dads as protective warriors

I love the portrayal of The Mandalorian as the protective Dad warrior. In Western society, the male archetype is too often one that is unfeeling and uncaring—more concerned with earning a living than with caring for others. The Mandalorian does carry many of these traits and often struggles to be warm to The Child. But by the end, he realizes the importance of a soft, nurturing love, as is symbolized by removing his protective helmet, which he has sworn, as a warrior, never to remove. Removing the helmet makes him vulnerable and human. We see Grogu reach out and touch his bare face in a moment of tear-inducing love.

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Fellow Star Wars nerds! Thoughts? Comments? What did I miss? What do you disagree with? Please comment below so we can discuss!

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Comments (8)

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Alison, great article connecting this wonderful series to the daily work with which we are engaged. I have watched both seasons several times on my own and with kids and grandkids and can't wait for Season 3. We are also nerds about all things Star Wars! I never made all of the connections that you did but agree with everything. Early attachment is SO critical in a child's life so any way that point can be made through any and all platforms the better. Thanks for sharing your insights.

That's such a cute Grogu picture! Thanks so much for the kind words and for nerding out with me about Star Wars! I'm looking forward to Season 3 as well!

Alison, great article connecting this wonderful series to the daily work with which we are engaged. I have watched both seasons several times on my own and with kids and grandkids and can't wait for Season 3. We are also nerds about all things Star Wars! I never made all of the connections that you did but agree with everything. Early attachment is SO critical in a child's life so any way that point can be made through any and all platforms the better. Thanks for sharing your insights.

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  • The Child
@Carey Sipp posted:

Wow, Alison! What a beautifully written piece! I love the way you put your trauma-informed; healing-centered lens on the story.  I haven’t watched the show yet,  but plan to now, based on your recommendation.

I appreciate too how you mentioned this briefly recently, and took action to share your “why” throughout your report on the show. Doing this work (working at PACEs Connection and often being immersed in stories about trauma while at the same time looking constantly to connect and share solutions to these seemingly intractable problems) the work and stories become so steeped into us that we cannot help but look at everything through the lens of wanting to prevent and heal childhood trauma; wanting to see these seemingly intractable problems of inequity, racism, violence toward people, animals, the earth, STOP.  Thanks for sharing about this show from that perspective.

So I am not a total Star Wars nerd. I know someone who is, and will tag him on social media when I share this piece via FB. But whether one is a Star Wars aficionado or not, your great explanation of core principles of attachment theory and the way good and evil are contrasted in the entire Star Wars universe of films, is wonderfully instructive.

Thanks for taking an idea shared in a meeting into a full-blown and joyful lesson on the value of taking some time off to enjoy fantasy, humor and an adorable character who will likely teach us all a lot more in the seasons to come.

We are all all of the characters in our dreams, an old psychiatrist said, and I believe the same is true in stories such as this. Seeing myself as Baby Yoda sounds fun. I look forward to some binge watching on this series myself, appreciate the recommendation, and look forward to joining you in talking about how adorable Baby Yoda is.

May the Force be with us,

Carey

Thanks for reading and for the kind words, Carey!

"intractable problems of inequity, racism, violence toward people, animals, the earth" - Yes! There were even MORE themes I could have dug into here—thank you for touching on them. I love how the Star Wars series challenges us to think about society's intractable problems through fantasy and an utterly captivating imaginative world.

I like your idea of imagining ourselves as Baby Yoda. In my family of origin, sometimes I was the enemy, and sometimes I was the royalty, and there's a lot of wounds still there that this show illuminated—times when I didn't feel protected. Those wounds are still hurting and it's comforting to feel the protector energy and to also imagine myself as the protective warrior.

May the force be with us!




via GIPHY

Based on the notification that you wrote this wonderful post, I started watching The Mandalorian last night. Just 1.25 episodes in, I was intrigued enough to read the whole post, spoilers or not. I needed to know that The Child was going to be OK with with this accidental protector....I'm just that sensitized these days. Thanks for writing this, Alison. And for relieving my anxiety!

I hear you on this! I kept gripping my boyfriend's arm while watching some episodes, saying, "I know the Disney Channel won't kill the Baby Yoda but I feel so nervous!" The episodes were formulaic and predictable and yet still so entertaining to watch. We knew there would be massive action scenes and conflict, we knew the Baby Yoda would live—it's all these teachings about protection and love that still came as delightful surprises.

Thanks for reading and the kind words! I hope to discuss the series with you when you've watched more of it!




via GIPHY

As a huge Baby Yoda and an ACEs trainer, this take on the series was heartwarming and enlightening. Will definitely reference this article in future discussions. Thank you!

Thanks so much for the kind words Ashara! Nice to meet another huge Baby Yoda fan!


via GIPHY

Based on the notification that you wrote this wonderful post, I started watching The Mandalorian last night. Just 1.25 episodes in, I was intrigued enough to read the whole post, spoilers or not. I needed to know that The Child was going to be OK with with this accidental protector....I'm just that sensitized these days. Thanks for writing this, Alison. And for relieving my anxiety!

Wow, Alison! What a beautifully written piece! I love the way you put your trauma-informed; healing-centered lens on the story.  I haven’t watched the show yet,  but plan to now, based on your recommendation.

I appreciate too how you mentioned this briefly recently, and took action to share your “why” throughout your report on the show. Doing this work (working at PACEs Connection and often being immersed in stories about trauma while at the same time looking constantly to connect and share solutions to these seemingly intractable problems) the work and stories become so steeped into us that we cannot help but look at everything through the lens of wanting to prevent and heal childhood trauma; wanting to see these seemingly intractable problems of inequity, racism, violence toward people, animals, the earth, STOP.  Thanks for sharing about this show from that perspective.

So I am not a total Star Wars nerd. I know someone who is, and will tag him on social media when I share this piece via FB. But whether one is a Star Wars aficionado or not, your great explanation of core principles of attachment theory and the way good and evil are contrasted in the entire Star Wars universe of films, is wonderfully instructive.

Thanks for taking an idea shared in a meeting into a full-blown and joyful lesson on the value of taking some time off to enjoy fantasy, humor and an adorable character who will likely teach us all a lot more in the seasons to come.

We are all all of the characters in our dreams, an old psychiatrist said, and I believe the same is true in stories such as this. Seeing myself as Baby Yoda sounds fun. I look forward to some binge watching on this series myself, appreciate the recommendation, and look forward to joining you in talking about how adorable Baby Yoda is.

May the Force be with us,

Carey

Last edited by Carey Sipp
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