Skip to main content

Do You Underestimate the Impact of Being Kind? [greatergood.berkeley.edu]

 

By Jill Suttie, Greater Good Magazine, November 7, 2022

Now and then, I give up my spot in the grocery line to a stranger. Or, if a friend is in the hospital, I’ll surprise them by sending flowers. These random acts of kindness—given without expectation of thanks or reciprocity—feel good in the moment and help connect me to my community.

But, if random kindnesses spread so much positivity, why don’t we do them more often? Findings from a recent study conducted by Amit Kumar of the University of Texas at Austin and Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago suggest one possible reason: We may be underestimating how nice it is to receive kindness.

In several experiments within the study, Kumar and Epley gave people opportunities to act in a variety of kind ways, both with strangers and with people they knew. In one experiment, for instance, researchers went to a public ice rink on a cold day and handed people a cup of hot chocolate, telling them they could keep it for themselves or give it to a random stranger at the rink. The people who gave theirs away first reported how much happier they were than usual, then predicted how much happier the stranger would be receiving the drink from them (knowing someone had given it up for them). Next, the researchers delivered the hot chocolate, telling the recipients that it was a gift from a stranger and querying them about how they felt.

[Please click here to read more.]

Add Comment

Comments (1)

Newest · Oldest · Popular

[At the risk of sounding smug/self-righteous or sanctimonious] In social climates of heated emotions and violent intolerance, it may not be enough to just not think/act hateful; we also need to display kindness. For example, following the killings in London, Ontario, last year of four members of a family for being Muslim, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau suggested to Canadians that “the next time you see a woman in a hijab or a [Muslim] family out for a stroll, give them a smile.”

Due to seemingly plentiful incidents of hate-motivated crimes, his thoughtful request can be applicable to a wide array of such inexcusable attacks. I feel that offering a sincere smile can be a healthy and powerful, yet relatively effortless, potential response by caring individuals to acts of hate targeted at other identifiable-group members of society. (One might also wear anti-hate symbolism, e.g. a colored ribbon or shirt.)

I decided to do this as my own rebellious response to the (as anticipated) acts of racial/religious intolerance that soon followed Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential election victory. Anti-Trump demonstrators’ catchy slogan was “Love Trumps Hate”. Not much for the non-family ‘love’ part, I would do the next best thing by offering a sincere smile.

But when offering a smile, one should do so promptly. In my first attempt, with a passing woman wearing a Muslim head scarf, I hesitated long enough (likely for fear of possibly offending her modesty) for her to catch my blank stare and quickly look away. Bitterly ironic, the opposite of my intended friendly gesture was therefor likely perceived by her. 

I made sure to not repeat the mistake, however, as I passed a middle-aged Black woman along the sidewalk. To me, she had a lined expression of one who’d endured a hard life. I gave her a smile, and her seemingly tired face lit up with her own smile, as though mine was the last thing she’d expected to receive. We always greet one another, since then, and converse when awaiting the bus.

In social climates of heated emotions and violent intolerance, it may not be enough to just not think/act hateful; we also need to display kindness, perhaps through a sincere smile.

Post
Copyright © 2023, PACEsConnection. All rights reserved.
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×