Finding your niche in Coaching is probably one of the greatest challenges and growth opportunities. It has helped me to align my practice with my purpose so I can support you and your community as you move toward a life of peace and connection.
Wow, it seems as though my reflections pay off in very timely ways. When I originally wrote this post, 2/24/22, the war was just beginning between Russia and the Ukraine. This past weekend 5/15 and 16/22 there were two Mass Shootings in the United States. War and now Mass Shootings are now a great fear of many in these very unstable and uncertain times. When the pandemic hit I knew I had an opportunity to check in with myself and build my practices for staying calm and learning more about my beliefs about being safe. That is how survival really works. However, our reptilian brain is still easily triggered by outside stimulation, including the news, the weather and the voices of the past. Now more than ever we need the self awareness to determine if we are triggered by fear that is real or perceived based on past experiences.
So, my focus for coaching has shifted. I want to figure out how our society can be more compassionate. How people can connect with people they don’t know or even people who they think they can’t connect with. Too often I am hearing stories in my own community of people who “can’t” and “won’t” talk to each other about things that are important to both of them. Disconnection also happens within families and household as well as intimate relationships. And, unfortunately, this also happens with the conversations we have with ourselves! Go figure.
What are the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, our relationships and our goals, dreams and aspirations? What story are we telling ourselves about the future of the world? Often it is a story from the past. Cause that is all we “know”. We only know what we have experienced. We don’t know what will happen in the future. We think we do… but we really don’t know.
In Brenè Brown’s new book Atlas of the Heart she helps us see that “language shapes our future” and “language is the portal to connection.” How? Having been a speech language pathologist and worked with students of a variety of ages and diverse backgrounds, and now coaching adults of all ages, I can tell you, those with “challenges” organizing their language to communicate with others, had challenges in their past that were unresolved. Hearing their story, understanding their story and helping them tell their new story was and is the most efficient “treatment” for resolving and challenges. People are typically “stuck” in a past place and time and their language reflects that.
So, if that happens to children, and I apply that understanding to adults and organizations, I have reason to believe that story is a very powerful tool to help build connection with children and parents and teachers, adults in relationships as well as community organizations and the communities they serve.
In a recent podcast “Brenè Brown interviewed Shawn Ginwright about his new book: The Four Pivots: Reimagining Justice, Reimagining Ourselves
Sometimes those “aha” moments just come rushing in! This interview was one of those times. I received a clear message that this is the work I am meant to do. The day before I had a meeting with two amazing leaders from The Island Institute who introduced me to June Holley who is the founder of Network Weaver. Then I came across this wonderful article about the Relational Work of Systems Change by directors of Collective Change Lab published in the Stanford Social Innovation Review. What a resonate and affirming day I had. My work in understanding the impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences, Trauma and the process of Coaching has come full circle and is pouring out into the community at large!
As Dr. Bruce Perry states: “Relationships are the Agents of Change! “ And of course that relationship with ourselves comes first, and we need relationships with others to hold a mirror up for how we view ourselves and our opportunities for growth and healing.
So, I have developed a coaching process that is easily accessible for community organizations who want to focus on building relationships between their members and bring those healed relationships into their communities. This process works in all organizations and with individual teams within business and non-profit organizations as well.
Please find more information about his process on my website and contact me for a proposal for your organization.
Healing happens in relationship and Coaching with a Trauma Informed Lens is the most effective and efficient process!